Quote:
Originally Posted by zeek
I hesitate to give advice, but in my experience, the local church was not really supportive of marriage. The leadership wanted you to spend all your time in meetings digesting Witness Lee's ministry. Couples could sit in meetings and jump up and down and shout together. But it was more of a parallel kind of activity than an interactive one.
Actually, my ex-wife and I got married in a joint meeting with another couple. All that happened was the elder of the church signed the marriage license and then we had a meeting where people jumped up and testified and shouted pretty much like every other meeting. Not exactly a propitious start. It was an interesting experience, but I wouldn't want to do it again.
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What a sad testimony. It's no wonder there were so many broken homes in the LC's. They encouraged marriages with little or no preparation. My own testimony is equally sad, so I am not speaking as a casual observer here. I was surrounded by marriages that were promoted by leaders, thinking naively that marriage was some magical "cure-all" for all of life's problems. LC Chinese leaders somehow believed that ancient customs from a rigid society would work in "liberated" America. I have to believe that many marriages failed simply because the parties finally "grew up," and then realized how very different they were.
What a tragedy that the many movements in the LC's also included marriage. Often it was just "the thing to do" for young people, like dumb sheep being led to slaughter, since all their friends were "doing it." I remember Cleveland in '77. TC had a "talk" with a bunch of singles, and shortly after we started to hear about wedding plans. It was somewhat like an hour-long TV show, except for the "happily ever after" part. None of these LC leaders ever took responsibility for their failed "match-making." The "Fiddler on the Roof" kept fiddling away. It took numerous LC divorces before most leaders decided to stop "playing God" and taking marriage more seriously.
I never did hear LC leaders speaking of "love" in the context of marriage. Instead it was that morbid, "
she can't live with me without Christ, and I can't live with her without Christ.
She is my cross, and I am her cross.
Because of her I gain more Christ, and because of me she gains more Christ." Sound more like a "cage" than a cross. Was that supposed to be "good news." Some leaders even gave those "spiritual" messages during wedding meetings. Imagine what the families thought. Old fashioned traditional marriages from "poor, poor Christianity" held more hope than that!