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Originally Posted by Unregistered
..I meant no harm at all and did not mean to come across as harsh. I was just writing down my thoughts, not blaming anyone or expecting to get into a debate or fight or have anyone take sides. ...
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Remember this, though: we came from an environment (the LC) in which even thinking an original thought was suspect. Only the Oracle had the anointing! The rest were limited to "amen"; "be a Witness Lee tape recorder" we were told. So as you exit that system you can be forgiven if you yell, literally or metaphorically, a bit.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Unregistered
I have major flashbacks and anxiety issues. I also remember such great peer pressure to conform... And remember the first time I was to call on the name of the lord when I was 12. We made a circle and each person was to call on the name of the lord 3 times or as many times needed to get into their spirit. Most only needed to call on the name 3 times. Then it was my turn. I didn't know or understand what I was doing. So I hoped that I only had to do it 3 times... And tried to do it as best as I could and hoping that it would be as genuine sounding and not forced. Unfortunately I didn't pass because it wasn't loud/intense enough... And was told to do it again.. 1 more time... Then again....then again.. it felt like I must have called 30 times in 5-10 minutes... It left an impression on me... It was one of the most humiliating experiences. I don't doubt it worked for others... But that was totally not me and out of character. The same with getting saved.. like I was just supposed to believe in 30 seconds, call on the name of the lord and pray just because my whole class was saved the week before and they didn't want me to feel left out. Something wrong with the picture if everyone around me was rejoicing... including the angels one told me... except me. I felt the same thing about the baptism... we did it as a class. But after I was..it was really weird..and confusing...
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The kind of experience you had, what I called "assembly-line salvation", is worth examining critically. Just call on the name of the Lord three times, loudly, and you will be saved. Right? "Whoever calls upon the name of the Lord will be saved." But we have here someone who called and didn't get saved. So what of it?
Now some obviously have glorious spiritual experiences from just such scenarios. But how many exit, wounded, reeling, confused? They've been primed since the crib that mankind is hopeless apart from God; suddenly the "magic moment" is supposed to appear and it doesn't. So their conditioning says that all hope is gone; they're faced with the abyss.
The first responsibility of the doctor is to "do no harm", but if the spiritual hospital, the church, causes such damage to so many in its care, I question what it's doing, really.
Don't get me wrong, I remain a card-carrying fundamentalist believer, of the "evangelical" type and stripe. But this kind of herding children into a circle and getting them to bawl out a special word, even the name of Jesus, and think that this will usher them into God is not only ridiculous but harmful. I bet a huge proportion of kids exited the system with an outlook similar to the one writing here: confused, frustrated, angry, ashamed, embittered.
But the cookie-cutter systems don't care. As long as they get a few acolytes they don't care about the "collateral damage." If they ruin 15, and one becomes a smiling devotee, they'll take it. It's simply the cost of doing business.