I can relate to your questions because it used to reflect a value system I used to also have after leaving the LCs.
In the LCs we judged others and ourselves based on how "spiritual" we were which equated to how faithful we were to the ministry in terms of meeting attendance, reading life studies and other such works. Also of utmost priority was special revelation, high truths and good teaching. The bible was this huge puzzle that needed to be decoded and uncovering all its hidden secrets was of utmost importance. That we had this special access to God and his truth separated us from the rest of fallen Christianity.
[Also did you know The name of the Pharisees actually means "set apart"? They thought they had a special connection to God that separated them from everyone else based on their misdirected zeal]
Now to me, these things may be good, but now I realize my need to prioritize trying to love Jesus by obeying him because Jesus says if you love me you will obey my commands (John 14:15). After reading a list of Jesus' commandments (see here:
http://www.verserain.com/verseset/sh...7ab0162d7cbd89) it's hard not to admit how hard they are to obey and perhaps it's then we realize it's because doing so requires a real relationship with Jesus.
Obeying Witness Lee or any other man does not require a relationship with Mr Lee, Jesus or anyone else but obeying Jesus does require a relationship with our Saviour.
I realized I could actually go through all the religious activities in the LCs without actually knowing Jesus intimately, person to person, but simply follow the hive mind and be rewarded for it too. But when I tried to obey Jesus by forgiving *everyone*, blessing my enemies, loving everyone as Jesus loved, denying my own needs to help the poor and bearing criticism from others for foolishly doing so, etc. I realized how short I really was and it was impossible without the help of the Holy Spirit and I desperately needed Jesus.
When I try to carry out Jesus' commandments, Jesus no longer became optional but absolutely necessary in my daily life which involved really knowing Jesus personally through answered prayer and communion and not just intellectually knowing facts about Him. It's still a struggle for me but I sometimes find that where I realize my weakness, God uses it as an opportunity to reveal his glory and love and it in turns makes it easier to love him back tangibly.