Quote:
Originally Posted by NeverfreefromLC
It is damaging to the youth. I remember virginity being spoken about as a treasure as a young girl. Fortunately, I was a sometimes visitor of the LC, my parents were divorced (to which dad's newfound overzealous joining of the LC certainly was a factor) and not there as often as regular members. When I was molested as a child, the last thing I needed to hear was virginity or pureness being heralded regularly. It makes a victim feel even more shame over what happened. If virginity or pureness is to be stressed to children, darkness such as being a victim of a perverse person should also be discussed and it should be made clear, they are not dirty or bad. I never personally felt I was bad from it but see how a child could feel that. Virginity opens discussions or thoughts about sex. If that subject is presented, it should be presented with more information.
I will make it clear that nobody within the LC had molested me personally but I do know some who were by LC members. Kids are considered lower on the totem pole than women there.
On another note, the LC seriously screwed up some people who grew up within the community. Not only do their peers think they and their families are crazy throughout childhood but some grow up without a true conscience because deep down they believe they can pray and be forgiven and that is normal since all sin in the eyes of the Lord. Ones who do have a conscience struggle with life as well. The kids are over sheltered (it is encouraged they hang out with only other members) and do not learn how to make it in the real world because they are not taught.
I wish you all the best in your journey!
|
Hi NeverfreefromLC,
{Virtual hug <3}
I'm so sorry you went through that.
Yes I agree. I went through a similar experience and the guilt and shame was the most intense feeling and such a depressing burden. For me it was a member of the LC as well. I mentally checked out. It didn't make sense to see this person worshipping at the table meeting, while my young young self was thinking how does he get away with it while I have to keep it a secret and try to be normal? It was exhausting to keep that secret.
I didn't feel good enough for a brother in the church life. I now know that it wasn't my shame or guilt, it was the accuser. and I know that satan tries to get a foot hold into our lives from trauma we experience. It's so deeply rooted in us at a young age, but lies are nothing compared to the truth!
I keep hearing stories of sexual abuse covered up in the church... it's always going to be a thing because satan wants to steal kill and destroy. I just wish there was more love and care for those who had been through things. But they won't in an environment where the truth of many other issues has been stifled for decades. I could never understand it, but from all the testimonies on this forum, so many things make sense!
For me, I didn't feel pure because I wasn't. I knew I wasn't. I wasn't like everyone else. And I knew I would have issues from it for awhile, and it took years to work through. It still comes up, but I am learning now to not try to stuff it down, to let God heal me at the deepest level. Sometimes I wish I could have felt safe telling those who knew me, I wish it could have made a difference. But I already knew of some people in the LC who knew about what happened but they looked away. I was ashamed, and didn't want to say anything because I don't like drama or attention, I wanted a solution to the problem that they couldn't give me.
I am thankful that for so many years God was there with me, he loved me when I didn't believe I was lovable. Any time I was in despair he was there for me. I still had such an issue with unbelief and faith but it was because of my wounds from earthly authority figures. God was always there.
What a wonderful feeling to be validated, to be given permission to feel, heal. Who knows how much healing and closure I would have gotten if I was still in the LC and married into it with the package that goes with it. I needed to be free from any pressure to perform and going to meetings, etc, otherwise it would still be festering. All I know is that God loves all His children, no matter where they are physically, spiritually or mentally, and no matter what has happened to them. And I have experienced God's grace and love and mercy, and felt His presence in the hardest moments of my life.
What I have been learning is that our destiny in Christ is to praise and worship Him despite the evil. Because evil has no power. It's so healing to realize this, amidst all the tears and hurt. It's incredible how hard it is to choose to heal, let the wounds open and let God heal. So many suppressed wounds. But God is bigger than wounds it just takes praying for faith and trust, and healing. Every little step of being real and honest sets us free.
It's such an encouragement to me to read all the posts from people who have been out of the LC for decades, to be a witness to your growth and healing and relationship with Jesus. It's awesome!! I remember sitting in meetings thinking about the other side that was told to shut up. Like how I was told to be quiet. The brainwashing could not grab hold of me completely because of what I went through. And thank GOD for that!!!!!!
So I am so glad to have found this forum and to have read so much of your testimonies. Thank you!
My prayer is that we all grow closer to God and into freedom and peace and trust in our Redeemer. Even though it has been hard and there have been so many heart breaking stories shared on this forum, God's grace abounds. And no matter what we have been told, we are not worthless, and we have a place in God's Kingdom! I am growing more and more into faith and trust every day, and I am so so thankful. I used to think God's love was for everyone else, not me. That God would speak to anyone but me. So many layers of lies. So not true!!
Let's kick the devils butt!!!
~Blue Orchid