[ZNPaaneah]

Wow, I don't usually think back on my time in the LRC in the context of "regrets" but I did have a few. Probably my biggest regret was when I heard that Brother Barber had terminal cancer (it was a Sunday morning). I regret that I didn't immediately (as soon as the meeting was over) get in my car and drive to Oklahoma, find him, and pray with him for his healing. I believe had I done that it would have been a very big fork in the road for my experience in the LRC. It is one of those times I feel like the Lord was speaking to me and I ignored him. I could have easily done it, had plenty of vacation days and personal days, was single, etc. Could have, would have, should have -- I guess the definition of regret.

The real gains were in repentance and other experiences that I'll never forget, people that I met and that made a big impact on my life, faith, hope, and love.

The regrets, like the one I mentioned, were examples of not being faithful to the Lord's speaking to me. I am leveraging these by making sure I don't forget, but rather learn from that to be more sensitive to the still small voice within.

Two of the people that shepherded me are now dead. I went to one funeral, was unable to go to the other but did visit later on. I do not feel that I received poor counsel, and that includes counsel from Ray Graver, Benson Phillips, and others.

What attracted me to the LRC was that I was doing everything possible to discourage them while at the same time praying secretly that if they were really sent by the Lord that He have mercy on me and not let them get discouraged. I once asked a brother why he kept coming for an entire year and not giving up and he told me it was because I was honest with him.

My biggest problem on leaving is to wrap my head around the "error". What was it, who made it, when, what should I have done differently, etc. This forum has helped me greatly in working through those questions.