[Meribah]

Hello to dear brother, Gideon!

I have thought long and hard about what I would share with you regarding the LC. There is so much to say that it is hard to know where to begin.

I think we all thought that the saints in the LC were somehow living this bright and shining life--and that we wanted this for ourselves. I thought that they were the most spiritual people I had ever seen except for that special, devout few that you find in almost all churches. So, I began meeting with them from time to time. It was not long before I discovered that it is really a facade.

How can this be? Well, it is because there are multiple ways to sin--and so they (and we!) do. I came to see that while sitting in the meetings, saying very spiritual sounding things, they were sinning at the same time by engaging in judging their other brothers and sisters in "poor, degraded Christianity". You soon figure out that many of those who stand up in virtually every meeting are sinning because they are seeking and enjoying the limelight--while looking spiritual. They continually sin by not caring for those members that they determine are "less worthwhile" to the ministry. They really do not want to minister to the hurting ones around them. This is one Christian group that will never "waste" its time going to senior citizen homes to offer church services to the elderly residents there. They are old, a drain of time and energy, and are never going to "help build the church" or "become the Bride"--or tithe much money. Yet, how many times Our Lord reminded us--both through His words and His living to care for such sheep! Just bide your time and observe. You will see that only the young, active college students are sought out and invited into the church. I find this particularly disgusting. But yes--they look and sound spiritual.

Then there is the way that their eyes immediately glaze over if you bring up a contribution made by another saint's ministry who is not a part of the LC. In spite of their emphasis that "each one has" (very Biblical, of course), they do not care to hear what other Christian leaders/ministers have to say. Why? Because they have such riches! They have it all! WL is the fount of all wisdom and there is absolutely no need or reason to go outside of his ministry to find spiritual nourishment and inspiration. This particular mindset will become more and more obvious to you as time passes--and, based on what you have said about yourself, more difficult to tolerate.

I believe that they sin by making WL into an idol. They deny that they worship WL--but there is total adulation for him. He is NEVER wrong--like the Lord Himself, you know. In all the churches I have been to, I have never heard anyone outside of the LC state that they simply could not go on in the Lord without the ministry of such and such person. But these saints do! They believe that their spiritual growth is inextricably connected to "staying in the church life" and "following this ministry". The Lord and His Word, somehow, just aren't enough. And it is exactly this feeling that silences them all if and when errors are discovered in WL's writings or footnotes, or in the church's dealings. To them, the greatest horror would be to be asked to leave and go into "outer darkness", so to speak. They would be utterly lost and broken. Tragic.

One thing that bothered me so very much toward the end was the emphasis on using their devotional book, the HWFMR, instead of the Bible in their meetings. They will point out that there are Bible verses on each page. There are--but they are typically snippets rather than complete verses and the focus is NOT on the scripture but on WL's commentary and interpretation of it. Most of the two pages for each day is commentary by WL. When saints stand to share--it is often a quote from the part written by WL rather than something about the verses themselves. Added to this is the absence of the old, beloved hymns. Most of the songs that are sung are either written by Lee or are tunes taken from the old hymns but with new words added. I often longed to hear the old hymns and their real description of Christian life, struggles, and issues as well as their sweet focus on the Lord.

In the end, I was not able to deal with living in the straitjacket of Lee-and--Nee only. I longed to be with believers that received ministry and inspiration from all the other ministries whose fruit showed love of the Lord. I longed to be in a place where freedom of expression was welcomed. I wanted to get away from the unusual terminology. I wanted to once again hear the old, old story in its sweetness and simplicity. I wanted to be with believers that sought out the old, the damaged, the unattractive, the outcasts, and the hurting. I wanted to be an old-fashioned Christian once again--and I think you may feel this way, too, if you tarry for a very long time with them.

May the Lord bless you and your wife--whichever path you take.