Thread: Curious!
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Old 11-27-2019, 04:17 PM   #36
Join Date: Jan 2019
Posts: 141
Default Re: Curious!

Originally Posted by Ohio View Post
Fascinating concept here, Curious! I have long wondered why I have been surrounded by people who so easily "explode" losing their temper. So many relationships have been destroyed. How can we say the fruit of the Spirit is self-control, (Gal 5.25) when so little is witnessed?
On the topic of anger as a ‘emotional product’ of being in an abusive environment:

Anger is a very real indicator of the true state of affairs. At the same time it is like a raging, out of control fire, it can cause a huge amount of destruction in a short space of time. It can be scary to for a person to lift the lid on it and have to negotiate what they have ‘consumed’ by allowing themselves to be submitted to a group that damages them. Also, once the lid is lifted, one can’t just put it back in the box. We have to move forwards, and have faith that God has the way ahead. The ‘volcanoes’ will get smaller and over time, and become something that will be replaced by the fruit of the Holy Spirit and a beautiful measure of self-control will replace the anger.

However, the shame of feeling so angry or having out-of-control bursts is a risk factor to moving forward as that shame can help keep the person trapped in the cycle of anger.

it's also worth noting, explosive anger gives a person a temporary surge of power, and can become a habit for a person who is otherwise conditioned to be unhealthily submissive. There is a danger of getting stuck there. However, if a person knows what’s happening, has awareness, owns it rather than blaming others, and works alongside help, and above all, prays their way through, then the pathway for emotional healing is secure.

I’m prattling on about this because the commentary of others on this thread, identifying with the features of an unhealthy emotional dynamic, has indicated worse than I actually thought!

Everything I am sharing about anger in the aftermath of abuse is from my own personal journey, not from a textbook. And it is all accurate, I'm not glossing or putting a spin on it. I'm absolutely truthful when I say its scary but it will be good in the long run.

I suggest that persons still in the LC who want to leave but are not strong enough, can begin the process of recovery on the quiet in order to prepare themselves. Stepping away is a huge and challenging thing to do, taking time to gear up for it seems sensible. It’s my suggestion to start moving forwards in manageable steps. my covering these emotional damage issues is my way of helping to see some ways a person may find helpful, and maintain hope, in negotiating their way to a better long-term place.
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