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Old 11-14-2016, 01:44 AM   #5
DistantStar
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Join Date: Aug 2016
Location: South Africa
Posts: 127
Default Re: I've been reading for about 8 years

Quote:
Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
It helped me to realize that I was not crazy...just perceptive about a dysfunctional group.
I was there for the entire time last year and the first few months of this year.

While I was there at Christians at Campus I never thought them as being heathens. I knew they were born again Christians. Yet, like you, I thought there was something wrong with me. I never fit in. I would try, but I couldn't. I would try to say "Oh Lord Jesus!", but it always tasted like blasphemy.
Then at times I would see Facebook posts of them taking photos, or even making a video... but they never invited me to participate in this.

Don't get me wrong, they did a lot of trouble to try to see me. They would make time or pick me up at my flat for meetings during the week.

After a while I wondered whether or not I was missing something. Whether or not I was even saved.

This morning I sat on my favourite spot drinking coffee and reading 1 Samuel. While I read it I realised that this year I feel closer to God. I am more in Him than ever before. Still not nearly as much as I should be, but a lot more than I was while at CoC. Usually a person, especially a Christian, grows while things are going badly. Yet even though last year was the worst year of my life, I barely grew.
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