Unregistered

I definitely share a lot of these feelings with you. My parents started meeting with the LC when I was 12 years old (I'm 31 now) and to be perfectly honest, although I stopped meeting about 5 years ago, it wasn't until this year that I sat down to evaluate what went on in the LC and how it has affected me.

I grew up in a I met my dear husband in the LC as high schoolers but started a friendship with him in the college christian at campus group from the LC. The elders and my parents did not want us together and throughout our college years and after, they essentially made us break up a lot of times because "we had to wait". I did form wonderful friendships with some young people of my age growing up that I maintain to this day (most of us are not meeting anymore though), but mostly I just remember so much suffering and pain growing up. I never felt like I was pleasing the Lord enough or my parents and either way my parents went along with whatever the fellowship told them and they are deep deep into LC.

Some of my notes growing up in the LC:

Dating - dating was essentially not allowed and frowned upon until after college (especially if it was church kids, they held us to a higher expectation than a new couple from college for example). Rumors and gossip around young couples was horrible and everyone acted as police to the young sister's parents or elders. I can't tell you how many times my parents told me: the sisters/brothers called and said X (my now husband) was there.

Fellowship - nothing could ever be done without "having fellowship" with the elders. I remember being told to have fellowship about which third language I should study ( I wanted Italian, elders said Portuguese would probably serve the Lord's move better) Changing degrees, buying a car, going to a conference, everything had (should) be fellowshipped.

On that topic - they instill in you that "there is nothing in the dark that wont come to light" so much that I believe it's a way to get information out from you. For example, my husband and I, being young, in love and controlled, had intercourse while still dating in college. We felt so horrible about it and abot going against what we were taught that we foolishly told one of the elders to ask for "help". What ended up happening was that the elder told a) the other elders and responsible ones b) my parents. Needless to say my parents almost threw me out of the house ( they actually did and sent me to the elders house for a week ) and my husband and I were both told that we could not meet with the LC for some time as we were in sin.

My parents are not elders nor responsible ones but they are very close personally to the LC elders in our locality, give a LOT of money and also provide properties for full-timers. So while I was "excommunicated" they did allow me to show up here and there without kicking me out. My husband is another story, his family is not in the LC so after so many years of meeting with us, he had been basically separated from his family and spent literally all his time with the saints. When we got "excommunicated" he got the worse part of it. Brothers that had opened his home to him daily stood in their door and told him he could not come in as he would "contaminate" his children with his sin. He was monitored around other localities as well if he tried to show up for a meeting and he would be thrown out.

Fellowship is just an excuse to learn everything from you, gain leverage to control you, and tell you what to do. We got betrayed in the name of fellowship and if we had followed fellowship we wouldnt be married today.

I have a lot of stories and experiences that would take forever to write down. I'll post as I see threads of interest.