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stillseekingtruth · 07-30-2019, 08:19 AM

Oh wow! Thank you, Nell. I will take it all to Him. I started to discard music from LSM (so called hymns that they changed the words to so that they could match the ministry) I looked at my bookshelf yesterday and stacked up LR books for the trash. Do you know what crept into my head today? "I'm not allowed to have an opinion about that." Then I asked, " Am I allowed to have an opinion? Am I allowed to have desires and wants? Am I allowed to be disappointed when life gets murky?" I hear myself pray in TLR language. My understanding about God, Jesus, and the Spirit are tangled with ministry and Christiantiy. I was reading Corinthians this morning and I was so confused. I wanted to seek out a 'teaching' on it, but I'm afraid to because I don't know who to trust.

What am I to ponder? These moments in my mind often lead to frustration and I end up stating that I don't care and what does it matter? It becomes a contention between me and my husband. At the church meetings we go to at the denominationI respond with, "I've heard this a million times." or I scruitinize the message. I don't know why but these thoughts and frustrations make me want to cut myself just to relieve the pain. But I've been good not doing that for a long time.

07-30-2019, 08:19 AM	#13
stillseekingtruth Member Join Date: Jul 2019 Posts: 49	Re: What is true? Oh wow! Thank you, Nell. I will take it all to Him. I started to discard music from LSM (so called hymns that they changed the words to so that they could match the ministry) I looked at my bookshelf yesterday and stacked up LR books for the trash. Do you know what crept into my head today? "I'm not allowed to have an opinion about that." Then I asked, " Am I allowed to have an opinion? Am I allowed to have desires and wants? Am I allowed to be disappointed when life gets murky?" I hear myself pray in TLR language. My understanding about God, Jesus, and the Spirit are tangled with ministry and Christiantiy. I was reading Corinthians this morning and I was so confused. I wanted to seek out a 'teaching' on it, but I'm afraid to because I don't know who to trust. What am I to ponder? These moments in my mind often lead to frustration and I end up stating that I don't care and what does it matter? It becomes a contention between me and my husband. At the church meetings we go to at the denominationI respond with, "I've heard this a million times." or I scruitinize the message. I don't know why but these thoughts and frustrations make me want to cut myself just to relieve the pain. But I've been good not doing that for a long time.