Unregistered

Hey guys...................................

I know my story is nothing compared to what some of you guys experienced, and I know the Lord is with me and will guide me, but I thought maybe I could just ask this on this forum for a little guidance..

I've always been a person on the "extreme"... from the moment I got my first game boy color I played Pokemon like crazy, which then spiraled into other video game addictions, I've always been super OCD about school assignments to get them perfect and to get the highest grades possible, unfortunately this carried over into my faith and... I saw Christians on Campus thinking how wonderful! A group that meets to read the Bible and fellowship!

So I took my relationship with Christ to an extreme... yes I gave up my sinful ways of masturbating 3-4x a day (sorry if too much information but that's the reality), cussing a lot, being addicted to video games, being addicted to peer pressure, however unfortunately all this transferred into me having just too much free time.

So I started getting involved with local church activities and let's just say I channeled everything into ambition for a relationship with God and also I became even more OCD/obsessed with schoolwork and I started judging people like crazy in my thoughts with self-righteousness.. since I had so much free time.

Let's just say the local church is not for me. I'm incapable of being a member there and having a natural relationship with God, the way it should be... yes God should be first place I believe but for me the local church is taking God and making him an ambition like I had in the video games or in schoolwork... not to mention (for me) their strange anxiety producing doctrines. They drew me in real far and started peer pressuring me I feel.

I know they do this all unconsciously, I know they don't mean to come off so strongly it's just how they are, I know all Christians have their flaws since we are sinners and fall short of perfection.

I guess the issue I have, is now finally that I have Christ in my life what do I DO?!?!?!

I have so much free time now and I don't want to become a recluse and just study the Bible in all my free time, I know God should be most important but my flaws make me be ambitious / anxious in regards to God. I have no concrete plans for after college yet, and I've never been very social so my network of friends is super limited. I always find a way to take SOMETHING to the extreme.

Anyone know some good scripture for people who get anxiety due to taking things to an extreme? OCD about perfection? What to do with spare time? It's like sometimes I believe I find a good balance of "normal" things to do and then a week later I find myself obsessing about a ton of things. Right now I think I'm at a good balance thanks to God though... hmm maybe this time around it will be different.