Quote:
Originally Posted by Terry
I believe what Ohio is referring to is when elders interject themselves whether playing matchmaker or breaking up a potential relationship. What this does is remove liberty, will, and choice from potential relationships ending in courting. When removing liberty, will, and choice happens an eventual marriage tends to be one of contract and not of covenant.
What I posted above was not my experience, but experiences of others.
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In the cases that I saw, the lack of free will and choice was clearly evident. In the LC-style arranged marriages, it might not be something that is literally 'forced' on anyone, but the pressure is enough so that people will cave to what the elders are 'suggesting'.
I had a particularly vexing experience where a leading brother came to me to ask if there were any sisters that I was interested it. I wasn't comfortable with him asking me that, but I sat and listened to what he had to say anyways. Almost immediately, he starts allegorizing the story of Isaac and Rebekah, in attempt to say that it's best to wait for the brothers to pick someone out.
He then proceeded to tell me that young brothers don't have the experience to always pick the right person, that they need a "second pair of eyes." By the end of the conversation, I felt like telling him off and telling him that he had no business talking to me about that. Unfortunately I never stood up to that kind of nonsense, but what I did do is drop all communication with that brother.
I think the fear is what holds a lot of people back. It is not a trivial matter to stand up to a leading brother. Depending on how much influence they have, it is only a matter of time until they can pressure someone into what they want them to do.