Originally Posted by Terry
Among my earliest of memories was my family moving to Los Angeles for “The Recovery” in the early 1970’s. What followed were moves to Phoenix, Alburqurque, Anaheim, and San Bernardino. All in all I was raised from my pre-school years through high school years in the local churches.
It wasn’t until after moving to Anaheim in early 1976 do I remember my stuttering being a problem. I saw speech therapists all the way through high school. It was in Anaheim did most kids ridicule the way I spoke. Perhaps I wasn’t so thankful as a child, but in retrospect I am thankful to all the children I went to school with who were also meeting with the Church in Anaheim. Back then nearly all my friends from school were from families meeting in the church. For a while I went to United Way for my speech therapy. Since my mom didn’t drive, there were a trio of sisters (two from Anaheim and one from Fullerton) who took turns driving me to my therapy sessions.
After the school year ended in June, 1979 my family spent the summer near Lake Arrowhead, Ca. Maybe my parents didn’t intend to move there long term, but we did. This was the beginning of my family meeting with the Church in San Bernardino. Even today when I think about those brothers and sisters I remember from this time of 1979-1986, they’re like family. It was during one of the summers before high school was being a witness of baptism have an impact. I didn’t know what it was about and I wanted to know. Up till know the Bible was all knowledge. It wasn’t until during my sophomore year of high school did I receive Jesus Christ as my savior. It was at the Thanksgiving Young People’s Conference. Brother Gene asked if anyone wanted to receive the Lord as their savior and I was among those who spoke up.
I realize from my own experience that high school is a crucial time from young people. I am thankful for brothers MG and JL for the time they spent with us high school brothers. Being raised in the local churches, there was instruction regarding brothers and sisters beginning in seventh grade with the need to be separated. The intention behind the teaching is well-meaning and logical. The key is how those serving the young people convey the message. By high school there’s a longing to fit in with other students. That includes dating. Within the parameters of having the brothers and sisters separated, there needs to be some semblance of normalcy so that young people could relate to the other gender is a protected environment without feeling socially inept. That’s basically my experience as a high school brother. If I spoke to a classmate not my sister, that I was committing a sin. Throughout my high school years as each young people’s conference ended, we would head back to San Bernardino and speak a little something about the conference. I wasn’t concerned so much about what I was going to say, but if I was going to stutter. Not once do I recall any brother or sister ever show a sign of a smirk whenever I spoke. Just patience. It was during my last year of high school did we start door knocking. That was just too much for me to endure. As soon as I graduated from high school, my attendance to the Lord’s Day meeting dropped significantly.
When I began college, I wanted to fit in. I began doing things to fit in. Going to parties and hanging out with the wrong crowd that became alcohol abuse. As much as I wanted to go my own way and go do my own thing, the Lord wouldn’t let me go. I was the Lord’s. These experiences showed me no matter what I tried to do; no matter how much I tried to be a man-pleaser, I would never be happy. It was towards the end of my college experience I took a religion class on C.S. Lewis. After one particular session, the professor told me about the problems in the local church. Since I had no idea what he was talking about and since I had not been to a single meeting in several years, I asked my elder sister about it. She handed to me a book she had that explained it from Witness Lee’s point of view The Fermentation of the Present Rebellion. I read the book cover to cover. It seemed too far fetched from the experience of my childhood. It was more like a movie script than an account. If all the allegations were true, where’s the proof for validation. Besides I could not see brothers such as John Ingalls, Bill Mallon, among others that gave freely over 25 years of their life to a church movement only to come to this. Totally void of logic. If there was any ambition in these brothers, surely they would have acted upon it decades earlier. Needless to say one book changed my perspective on Living Stream Ministry and Witness Lee.
By 1993 I was a college graduate and traveled to Bellevue, Wa for a job interview. I did not get the job, but I was won over by the beauty of Western Washington. I quit my job in Southern California and moved to Washington. Though I had not expected to, within a matter of months I begun meeting with the Church in Bellevue. I noticed what a difference a few years made. No longer were problems solved by “turning to your spirit”, but by prayer. No longer was the Bible needed in the meetings. In it’s place was The Holy Word for Morning Revival which contained Biblical excerpts in conjunction with portions from Witness Lee’s ministry. I loved the home meetings. They were small, intimate, and liberating. Still when there were references to “the rebellious ones”, I did not know how to react. I wasn’t sure if the references were to Bill Freeman and his Scottsdale group or if the references were to the former leading brothers. I kept my mouth shut. I had a sense if I spoke my mind, the words coming out of my mouth would not be received well. In spite of the references, I did not let it become an obstacle to meeting together.
By late 1994 a brother and sister were leaving Bellevue for the Grace Gardens project. Since their home in Bellevue was not being sold, it became a brothers house. I moved in March 1995. Within a month I gained employment with a company that lasted nearly twelve years minus a 364 day layoff. Most of the brothers in the house were 18/19 years old. I was 27 and there was another brother who was considerably older who provided oversight. Within the brothers house, while the other young brothers were setting their goals on FTTA, my burden was for marriage. Having been brought up in the local churches, approaching a single sister was uncomfortable and awkward. Romantic interest outside the local churches was unthinkable. Understand the teaching is apart ffrom the local churches, you’re in the world. My concept was outside the local churches, there were no old-fashioned values any more. A time came I realized no one shared my burden for marriage except me. Through work a Filipino co-worker encouraged me to correspond with a pen-pal. In time I realized this pen-pal I met is also a sister halfway around the world. After writing back and forth for a year and a half I traveled to her country. We married shortly before I had to return to the US. It wasn’t until the summer of 1997, did my perception of the local churches begin to change. It all started with Witness Lee’s death. Prior to his death I was accustomed to hearing about Witness Lee. Through the 1990’s much more often than the 1980’s. In months following Witness Lee’s death, his name was ever so prominent. Something inside my being was bothered by this. A brother who is no longer with us, is being lifted up instead of Jesus Christ. Still my wife and I continued to meet. It wasn’t until after the birth of our 2nd child did it become impractical for us to meet. My wife’s employment was a conflict of interest. A brother such as myself taking care of an infant was too much a distraction for myself to be at the meeting. Plus I didn’t want my daughter to be a distraction to the meeting. Several months later in January 2001, we met with the Church in Bellevue for the last time.
Within the next year or two a lawsuit began with Harvest House which I was in complete opposition to. Many years earlier I was in a situation of which taking the other party to court was an option. Taking someone to court never set well with me. What testimony do we have as Christians by taking another Christian to court? Then I read I Corinthians 6. Wouldn’t it be better to suffer defrauding than to seek vindication? Even now in 2008 I still remember fondly of the saints I used to meet with. What has gotten in the way of contact is fear. The fear of being rejected because of my criticism of the esteemed ministry. It’s not the ministry in terms of publication, but of unhealthy teachings and practices that have damaged many. No one of ability from Living Stream Ministry has had the conscience to step forward to adjust the present course.
Warmest regards to those that read my testimony.
Terry Lane Fisher
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