View Single Post
Old 05-26-2017, 10:45 AM   #8
Ohio
Member
 
Ohio's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Greater Ohio
Posts: 13,654
Default Re: Most Important Testimony

Quote:
Originally Posted by A little brother View Post
"Have you seen somebody so spiritually constipated in your entire life?".
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nell View Post
This reminded me of the "most important testimony" given in the Church in Houston in the "early days" by a brother in his late 20's.

He testified that recently he had missed a meeting. Something you JUST DON'T DO. He chose instead to go to the Houston Zoo. He felt guilty about it, but was feeling somewhat rebellious and did it anyway.

At one point he was standing at the gorilla exhibit and apparently the gorillas were pretty close to the people who were watching. As animals are likely to do, the closest gorilla to the errant brother decided it was time to relieve himself. To keep things tidy I suppose, the gorilla chose to capture his droppings in his own hand (paw?). When he was finished, he drew back his hand and delivered a 90 MPH "fastball" at the brother which was ruled a "hit by pitch" in the brother's chest.

Immediately brother X was certain that he was "caught" and was being punished for missing the meeting. Why he decided to "confess" his indiscretion in the meeting was unclear. This was not lost on those in attendance at the hearing of the "testimony." However, the attendees were too busy rolling on the floor to notice.

He cleaned himself up as best he could and began to scurry toward the zoo exit. As he made his way out, there to greet him were news cameras from a large Houston TV station. They had gotten wind of the gorilla story and rushed to the zoo to cover it. A slow news night I guess.

Of course, brother X was not only mortifed by getting pummeled by gorilla poop, but it was being covered by the news media...all because he missed the meeting. Everybody in Houston would know.

Then he remembered...not only is everyone he knows in the meeting, but they are not allowed to OWN TV's much less WATCH TV. So he's safe. No problem...until he gave a "testimony" about it in the meeting.

So the moral of this story is...God has a sense of humor. And, sometimes you need to go to the zoo to get the message. Don't take things too seriously or you might miss something really important at the zoo.

Nell
Nell, I guess we really did evolve from gorillas!

Great story. I guess we all have a different interpretation of what it all meant.
__________________
Ohio's motto is: With God all things are possible!.
Keeping all my posts short, quick, living, and to the point!
Ohio is offline   Reply With Quote