Quote:
Originally Posted by UntoHim
boughtbyJesus,
I think you have received some good and wise input, and this is a big reason why this forum exists - so someone in your position can receive some fellowship and practical help. Some of us have been in the same place you are in...some still are. This doesn't mean you will hear the same thing from every forum member, and in fact, it's likely you'll receive a wide variation of advise on what and what not to do.
I think the current quote of the day from Oswald Chambers is some great advise for someone in your position: "God never gives us discernment in order that we may criticize, but that we may intercede." As you have probably noticed, there is a pervasive "spirit of criticism" among our dear brothers and sisters in the Local Church. The reasons for this are more involved than I could even begin to explain in just one post, but suffice it say for now, that they have inherited this spirit of criticism from their apostle, Witness Lee, who no doubt inherited from his mentor, Watchman Nee. Some of this dynamic comes from the ancient Chinese culture these men came from, but again, as with any religious culture developed from mere men, it is extremely complex and cannot be described or explained so easily.
"for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control." (2 Timothy 1:7)
It should go without saying that you will never have a good outcome fighting against this spirit of criticism with a spirit of criticism of your own. In my experience hiding behind this spirit of criticism is actually a spirit of fear and shame. Again, this is something rather involved and complex within the culture of the Local Church of Witness Lee, and I'm not saying that just knowing that this spirit exists will get you very far with your husband, but it is hard to fight against something that you can't even define, much less understand. Local Churchers are taught that all the answers to all lives problems and troubles comes from "contacting" the Holy Spirit within our human spirit by "calling on the Lord", "Pray-reading" the Bible and the teachings of Witness Lee and going to copious amounts of meetings, conferences and trainings. But has this resulted in a spirit of power and love and self-control?
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Thank you UntoHim for your kind words of encouragement. I agree that I should not engage in any criticism or fighting. I have learned this the hard way, that it will not get me very far at all with my husband. I am learning to give it to the Lord and not allow myself to be provoked by praying and asking the Lord to give me strength and guidance and to help me not to react to any of what he says to me, which is very hard at times because he can be so mean in what he says and how he says it! Unfortunately, the fruit of the spirit is not very evident in my husband, and in fact he has become meaner, quicker to anger, less patient and overall just plain uglier since becoming involved with the LC. I realize I cannot change my husband, I can only try to love him, pray for him and our family, and give it to the Lord and continue in my own walk with the Lord, continue to learn about Him, and continue to live for Him and His glory more and more everyday.