Thread: My Testimony
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Old 01-11-2016, 07:21 AM   #67
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Natal Transvaal
Posts: 4,848
Default Re: My Testimony

Originally Posted by aron View Post
I remember leaving the LSM system and being in the world, trying to get help, trying to "fellowship"; it was hard because everytime someone quoted a verse I could quote six. I was simultaneously all smashed up and "holier than thou"...I was a real mess! God put some people in my path who didn't have as many verses as me, not so "systemic" in theology, but they had a LOT more reality, and I wasn't so stupid that I couldn't realize it. So I humbled myself, and began to listen. Eventually I realized my "airtight system" wasn't so airtight, and thus was a contributor in my mess and my inability to break free.

The "double bind" is a terrible, paralyzing situation. You can't go forward, can't go back. My suspicion is that many are trapped in this way.
Here's a post I made on the "double bind" problem. As a "ministry" devotee I was simultaneously battered by the failures of self, and unable to address them because of indoctrination ("get out of your mind") and unable to seek help in despised "fallen Christianity". I was worse than the sinners of the world, yet too much of a know-it-all to humble myself and ask for help.

But I continually exposed myself to others' faith, and eventually saw that I didn't have a corner on the truth, and that my truth, so-called, was riddled with contradictions. Slowly I began to open, consider, and avail of new paths.

You can't be "negative" and antagonistic and expose the double bind. You have to be positive, reinforce the good things, and trust that the Lord will shine the light. Look at Saul of Tarsus, on the road to Damascus. Only God could have penetrated that heart.
"Freedom is free. It's slavery that's so horribly expensive" - Colonel Templeton, ret., of the 12th Scottish Highlanders, the 'Black Fusiliers'
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