Hey StG - thanks for your reply. I have been meaning to get back to this but the past few days have been busy and kind of difficult, sorry.
Okay, so, funnily enough, I was reading a devotional with my better half this morning that touches on exactly this subject. And it was basically tacking the same tack that you are. The devotional quotes 1 John 4:18 ("Where God's love is, there is no fear, because God's perfect love drives out fear. It is punishment that makes a person fear, so love is not made perfect in the person who fears."). It then goes into the devotional section. The opening lines in there stuck out to me and I felt compelled correct them in fellowship with my wife, or at least voice my objection to their one-sidedness when it comes to the presentation of Biblical truth. The devo says "The Bible often speaks of the 'fear of the Lord'. This refers to a believer's reverence, respect, and awe of God, rather than the emotion of feeling afraid."
However, I would ask - where in the Bible did they get that from? Did God make a mistake when He used the word "fear"? Why wouldn't He just say reverence, respect, and awe if that is all He meant?
I think it is extremely dangerous to redefine this word to our liking, OR to just say "well God is love". Yes, God is love. Part of that love is, I suspect, instilling a healthy fear of Him and the fact that He ultimately has complete authority over EVERYTHING, including us, into us. Because we are sinners living in a sinful world in the flesh, that helps to keep us in check, helps to convict us of our wrongdoings, helps us to remember we are living in front of a just, holy, and righteous God. And this ultimately should produce more love because it makes us realize He wants to protect us from NOT having fear of Him. The Bible does not say "love of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom". It says "the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom". I'd go so far as to say that in terms of our relationship with God, love is the beginning of GOD's side. Fear is the beginning of OUR side.
On the cross the two thieves were dying next to Jesus and the one said, "Hey! You're the Christ, aren't You? So save us!" The other guy repented (he is even called the Penitent Thief, evidently, something new Google just taught me).
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Luke 23:40 But the other responded, and rebuking him, said, “Do you not even fear God, since you are under the same sentence of condemnation? 41 And we indeed are suffering justly, for we are receiving what we deserve for our crimes; but this man has done nothing wrong.” 42 And he was saying, “Jesus, remember me when You come into Your kingdom!” 43 And He said to him, “Truly I say to you, today you will be with Me in Paradise.”
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No, we are not supposed to dwell in fear - of earthly things, or of Satan, or of suffering, etc. Fear of the Lord is different. Proverbs 19:23, "The fear of the LORD leads to life, And he who has it will abide in satisfaction; He will not be visited with evil."
Here's a funny thing about that guy on the cross. A lot of Once-Saved-Always-Saved types use him as an example of their doctrine and say "Hey, that guy didn't do anything, and he was eternally saved! You don't need to do anything, just believe and be saved! Even if you live like a total sinner after that, well, you might get some punishment, but God CAN'T take your salvation away." I don't believe this because A) I don't believe it's ever smart to say God CAN'T do anything, and B) it does not match up to what Jesus actually taught about people who talk the talk but don't walk the walk.
And this is the thing about the thief on the cross - he did do something. He was suffering and dying on a cross for his sins. He did wrong and he also bled and died and suffered for it, and in the midst of that he was able to repent and believe into Christ (and believe even his own suffering was not sufficient to vindicate him - which can't be an easy belief to come by, if you're actively dying on a giant pole). That is not small. We should be thankful we're NOT dying and bleeding on a cross and we still have the opportunity to live righteously by the power of the Spirit, not using that person's testimony as an excuse to say "well, we don't need to really fear God, he loves you no matter how much evil you do".