Quote:
Originally Posted by alwayscurious
For those who chose to stay in the recovery in spite of knowing that not all of what is in the ministry is "good" and in spite of recognizing many of the "traditions" and ways of living may be un-biblical or not-the-norm, what made you stay? Was it the Christian family that you now have that motivated you to stay? Did the Lord specifically lead you to stay? Or did you just not want to start over alone? I'm having many doubts but also whenever I think of staying I feel like I want to but at the same time know that I might live a sort of "double life" if I stay in the recovery. If I leave, I know that my identity will be gone for a very, very long time, and that's not even touching the loneliness aspect.
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Since I'm not someone who chose to stay, I'm not qualified to answer your main question, but I just wanted to affirm that the loss of identity as well as the loneliness aspect is very, very real. Leaving a group like the LC, which has taken great pains to make its whole sphere fill the majority of it's members' lives, is like losing your whole life. Really. Almost every nook and cranny of your life will change. I understand how deceptive SO MANY of the teachings and doctrines in the local church are, and I am assured without a doubt that they use known mind-controlling techniques. I know this and can see it in black and white and make 1-to-1 direct connections between the known techniques of groups like this and the specifics of how the local church carries it out, but I STILL wish sometimes I could go back and have that feeling of belonging and understanding that comes with knowing the names and faces and lives and cues and norms of the group. I grew up in it. It's like losing your whole family and the country you grew up in and the language you spoke all at once.
Mannnnnnny saints in the LC live a double life. They have to. It's how human beings have to cope with what they are trapped in.
If you leave, all I can say is do your best to have some kind of network of friends/acquaintances outside the LC who know what you are doing and will be in your life. I understand that the LC makes sure people DON'T have close connections outside of it, and I might be making an impossible recommendation (I had very tenuous and new connections outside the LC when I left and it's been a beat-up journey for sure), but as much as is possible in these COVID-times, it helps greatly to have connections outside the LC that can fill in the significant gaps the LC leaves.