[NZexCK]

Serenity lives, yes and yes to everything you said. I am reminded of a photos I saw shared on facebook recently of a group of about 20-30 teenage sisters singing hymns together in a very public part of town (we used to all have to do this during summer school). There are 3 main sisters in the front, one of them looks genuinely overjoyed to be singing hymns on the street (I think she was a serving one), the other two look like they are really making an effort to look like they're having a good time. Everyone else in the background looks utterly miserable and aren't even trying to hide it. They're looking off into the distance, overly "studying" the song book, fidgeting with their hair. That picture really brought back some uncomfortable memories. I know exactly how they feel. Of course those in charge sell it to you like it's a choice. Sure no one is holding a gun to anyones head. But deep down you know that if you are the one person to go against the "flow" that you will be ostracized. No teenager who already has a weak sense of self, doubled down by the pressure of the LR is going to have the strength to stand up for how they really feel. There is and always will be a huge imbalance of power between a grown adult and a child with an under developed brain.

I forgot to add that the LR even dictated to us when we should get baptised. As soon as we turned 11/12 ish there was a whole meeting at a camp that placed intense pressure on us to get baptised. Afterward we were "encouraged" to pray one on one with serving ones and then when we retuned to our locality we all got baptised together one after another. Everything in my being was screaming out all through the meeting and all through the baptism that this was so so wrong. But 12 year old me felt like I didn't truly have a choice. I went along with it because of the peer pressure, my insecurity and the need to get approval/validation from the adults I was surrounded by. There are no physical barriers or physical threats, only psychological.