Originally Posted by Trapped
Well, I'm neither with the RCC nor with the LC, so "cultist" doesn't make any sense when directed at me.
Regarding the situation you described, my first reaction is that I'm not sure how realistic it is, for one main reason:
You are speaking of a "Christian sexual rapist".
You've said they are both Christian, and yet one raped the other. At that point I would have to stop you and say I have reasonable grounds to doubt the genuineness of the salvation of the rapist. The New Testament speaks often of the fruits of salvation, of the fruits that should be evident in the lives of real believers, and I have yet to find "rape" as one of the fruits listed.
There is such a thing as a false conversion, a false believer. Scripture is replete with examples. Someone who outwardly professes to be a Christian, but is not. They are the tares mixed in among the wheat (that look like the wheat, the genuine believer, but are not).
So as stated, I'm not sure the situation can stand on its own two feet.
Incidentally, this is how the "Matthew 18 principles" reveal a tare. A believer who is shown his sin by the offended party, who refuses to listen, who is then shown his sin by a few more, who still refuses to listen, who is then outed to the whole church, and STILL refuses to listen......we are told to treat him as a tax collector. He's a tare. A false believer.
But I think I do understand what you are getting at with the scenario you put forth. And although the details may vary, I don't think it's that uncommon for everyone to have to deal with some kind of variant of it at some point in their life, so it's worth asking.
Someone deals us a blow so deep, we all ask, "Do I really have to forgive THAT?"
I've personally dealt with something similar. Not rape, to be sure, but serious harm followed by fake apologies. Serious harm followed by what seemed like genuine apologies, but which "genuine" apologies were always immediately followed by more of the same intentional harm.
So I'll break my response up into two paths.
1. If the apology is genuine - if the apology of the offending party is genuine, godly sorrow, true repentance, then yes, the offended party is to forgive. Even if it's rape. Even if it's murder. Even if, even if. How can I say that? Because that is how God in Christ forgives us. If we acknowledge our sin before God, He forgives us. But notice what I'm NOT saying:
-I'm not saying forgiving means it didn't happen.
-I'm not saying forgiving means the trauma and pain and suffering of the victim aren't very, very real.
-I'm not saying that the victim has to forgive right away. Something like rape causes direct and deep trauma, and their physical, mental, emotional, psychological, relational, and spiritual healing, at least to me, should come first. Forgive when they can forgive. No one should be beating them over the head to forgive.
-I'm not saying that forgiveness in this case means a restoration of the previous relationship. Some situations involve threat to life, and we aren't called to that.
-I'm not saying the rapist shouldn't still be punished and take the consequences.
If the apology is genuine, the offending party will show it. I can't list all of them out here, but some characteristics are things like:
-admitting to all hurtful acts known
-accepts responsibility for the act, rather than blame-shifting or excusing
-admits the acts caused damage and hurt
-is willing to hear descriptions of the damage caused for as long as is necessary
-sympathizes with the pain of the victim without redirecting focus onto himself
-is willing to make amends/restitution as appropriate
-is willing to accept the damage to the relationship may be irreparable
-is willing to accept that they may not be allowed to participate in the healing process
-is willing to do whatever is necessary to rebuild trust
-makes the effort to change and turn from the sin
-submits to appropriate discipline/punishment
-is willing to wait an indefinite amount of time for the victim to forgive, according to the victim's timing
-remains repentant and humble even when he doesn't get the immediate response desired (forgiveness, etc)
A few of those shouldn't apply to rape in particular; for example, rebuilding trust after a rape is, as far as I'm concerned, a no-go.
2. If the apology isn't genuine, similarly, it will be apparent.
-apology is accompanied by denial
-apology is accompanied by arrogant attitude
-apology is followed by more of the same harmful behavior
-denies responsibility
-minimizes the seriousness of the acts
-attempts to blame-shift
-does not want to hear the pain of the victim
-makes no effort at restitution/amends
-gets annoyed when forgiveness is not granted immediately
I'll stop there, but it's all basically the opposite of the list above it.
Basically, if the apology seems genuine, we need to forgive. God can see hearts, so He knows genuine forgiveness or not at the moment of. But for us humans, we can't see into hearts, and so forgiveness doesn't mean immediate trust. The forgiveness remains if the trust is kept. If the trust is broken (by some of the characteristics listed above, say), then the forgiveness can be rescinded, as far as I'm concerned, because it shows the repentance wasn't genuine. All of these subtle details are going to be specific to each person, each action, each case, etc..... so I'm speaking as specifically as I can while still being general and knowing that a thousand "what ifs" can sprout from this.
I'm curious, though, why you think God is all-forgiving (as you've said in other threads), but when speaking of this example of injustice, the idea of all-forgiveness seems to make you balk.
Actually this is a great example to illustrate why God isn't all-forgiving. If God is all-forgiving, then the message to the victim of rape is that they don't matter. The victim is then served a further injustice by God simply being all-forgiving in the face of rape.
If we had a judge in a courtroom who had a rapist-murderer brought before him and yet simply forgave him because he's all-forgiving, that would be an unjust, unrighteous judge, and we'd throw him out of the courtroom.
But thankfully that's not God.
Believing He's all-forgiving doesn't make it so. God judges sin. Mine. Yours. Everyone's.
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