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Originally Posted by Unregistered
Hi. Thank you so much for sharing this. I too am a former “church kid”. I left my parents house when I was 18 as soon as I got a car. I literally left with a handful of clothes wrapped in a blanket. Fortunately my parents bought me a cheap car because I wasn’t allowed to have a job because it would involve being around members of the opposite sex unsupervised and/or possibly missing church. I find it very difficult to talk to other people about it since the name Local Church is so vague, people would ask me what denomination I was and I would have no idea what to say. I am 34 now and just beginning to process how it has affected me. You are not alone in your experience
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Unregistered Guest.. thank you for sharing. It's pretty new for me to be reading what other people have to say about their experiences in the LC. It's sad to hear about that damage that was done to other people, but it's very meaningful to me as I feel less alone.
It's interesting that you mention a cheap car. I also had a cheap car that my parents bought for me. During my young adulthood though, there were times where my parents even controlled me through things like the car. Since my dad bought it with his money, I didn't have a right to do something he deemed as "bad."
My parents did allow me to have a job before I was 18 though, so I guess I should be thankful that it could have been worse.
I'm going to share a quick story.. not sure who will read this. When I was 19, I eloped with someone with mental health issues. He was in the church too, but from a different locality. I hardly knew him. We met in person at a couple conferences, but mostly chatted online. I mistook his crazy/mentally unhealthy behavior as "artistic" and because of my desperation for love and affection, decided that running away with him would make me happier. I was also trying to escape my life at home with my parents. I felt controlled and sheltered and like there was no way out. I was over 18, but really felt like my parents had complete control over me. I was obviously very immature and didn't know much about life or how to make healthy decisions.
Anyway, so much bad happened to me after this. I was emotionally abused, occasionally physically abused, abandoned, and exposed to so many unhealthy things. I had to learn how to fend for myself. But I refused to go back to my family. To me, going back to them was just as bad as the situation I was in. I was in a new locality, so still in the LC, but I'm really unclear as to what people thought about our relationship. I had visited my (now ex) before we were married, and the elders in that locality had a severe talking to with me about "fornication" and told my parents and it was just awful. After the marriage I guess they didn't care anymore.
This story could be really long, because so much more happened after that. To make it short, eventually my then "husband" (in quotes because he wasn't at all what a real husband should be) had us move to another city randomly. This may have been because he was manic. I also think he might have had antisocial personality disorder... because he completely disregarded the difference between right and wrong. Either way, I ended up getting pregnant, and then he randomly decided to abandon me and go to NYC. I was already paying for our apartment by myself without his help because he couldn't keep a job. Then, because I had no help, I eventually ended up living with my parents again. I consider my 20s mostly miserable because I had to rely on people (my parents) to help me. People who didn't understand me, and people who throughout my childhood made me feel like I couldn't be true to myself (see long story below). I eventually went back to school, got a decent job, learned how to be a real adult and got married to a normal and successful person.
So that's my story I wasn't sure if I wanted to share .. I used to not think it had much to do with the LC, but looking back on my life, and realizing the impact that the LC had on my parents, and how they raised me, it actually had a LOT to do with the LC.
I hope at some point I can talk more about this with people, and we can share more stories in a mutually beneficial way
