Quote:
Originally Posted by Terry
My question to heterosexual parents (with the LC view in mind), if your child comes out as gay, lesbian, or trans, does anything change?
If so, what?
|
Okay since this thread is still open, I will speak for my parents who are Chinese and who grew up in LC (my mother attended the FTTT and my father is an elder in one of the local churches).
The first year they found out I was dating a girl, my mom constantly prayed for my “gayness” to go away and had a lot of questions, some of them too intimate and embarrassing to put on here. My dad cried (more like sobbed for an entire night) and asked me why I “chose such a hard life” as if it was my fault.
Four years later, my mother asked my gf (who became my spouse) if she would love her daughter (me) forever. She told my dad that it wasnt such a bad idea if we (my spouse and I) took care of each other until we grew old. But there was some grief knowing they might not have grandkids from me, but I have two younger sisters, so thats all good b/c they are in the LC and will most likely marrying brothers. Now every time we come visit, my mom showers my spouse with home cooked meals, her garden plants, random groceries, tea and gifts and say that my spouse is like her “fourth daughter”. My dad says hi to her as well. They know we are living together.
My spouse’s family is Catholic. Her mom, a few months before she passed away, told one of my spouse’s aunts that she was proud that my spouse had found me. She claimed that I was a better person and that my spouse was in good hands, more than my spouse’s sister, who married a man twenty years older than her. Her dad on the other hand, knows we’re married and has been friendly to me on the few ocassions we met.
I’ve heard other church kids stories that are different. My parents took about ten years to grieve over the loss of me not being what they expected. Its like the stages for bereavement (denial, anger, bargaining, and acceptance) before they finally finally knew things werent going to change and they met my spouse for the person she is and treat us as any other loved one.