[ISeeCrazyPeople]

First of all, hello. I would like to say, I like your questions, because I have not yet made an initial post yet, and think that answering your questions is a good starting point for me. Just for some background information about me- I am a female in my 30s. I grew up as a “church kid” in the local church. My parents had joined this church group long before I was born. I never enjoyed sitting through church meetings as a child. They were very complex, long winded (3 or 4 hours on Sundays at least), full of testimonies, “pray-reading,” and other things that I barely understood. I have browsed through many of the comments on here so far, and many people seem like biblical scholars to me. Some of the talk here reminds me of the type of talk I used to hear. I think much of this stuff was forced down my throat as a child, but, I somehow managed to either never learn much, or just to easily forget most of the things I was supposed to learn. Maybe I wasn’t a typical LC church kid.

Anyway, I will answer some of your questions now.
Going to school was difficult for me. For one, I was homeschooled off and on. When I did start going to school, I was incredibly shy, I think mostly due to my lack of socialization from an early age. I never went to preschool or kindergarten. I hardly remember much of my earlier years I think because of this. When I did start public school, I felt really left out. I remember having to sit out from singing any Christmas songs with other kids up on stage. Anytime the topic of Christmas or any other holiday came up at school, I became really nervous and scared that I would be found out for being different. Back then, I don’t think teachers were as aware of diversity in beliefs. I remember the Spanish teacher going around the room and asking what everyone got for Christmas in Spanish, and I was petrified. I hated when my friends found out. They assumed I was a Jehovah’s Witness. It made no sense to them that I was a Christian that didn’t celebrate Christmas. I don’t think my parents or the church provided me with enough information to stand up for myself when confronted about these things. I just felt “different.” My parents only sort of celebrated birthdays. They really played them down and didn’t make a big deal out of them. I never had a real party with friends.

As for friends, I was never specifically told I couldn’t have friends outside of the church, but I had difficulty making and keeping friends (especially after middle school) because of my poor self-esteem and feeling different. Even within the church, I felt like I was not as “cool” as some of the other kids, who didn’t have parents that were as strict as me. This may be too much information, but I was very sheltered, had the most uncool clothes, wasn’t provided with any “worldy” items like CDs, never was taken to the movies or an amusement park by my parents, and had limited access to television shows (anything rated above G, I was probably not allowed to watch.. maybe saw some occasional PG things once I was a teenager). I wasn’t strictly told I couldn’t go to dances, but I don’t think I ever asked. I was too scared. I didn’t go to prom. I really regret that. To be honest, I really tried hard to follow the rules set before me, and was scared of my parents.. and now that I know more about the church and how it’s different from other mainstream Christian churches.. I realize that my parents were greatly influenced by the church. I would call their style Authoritarian- follow their rules and don’t ask questions.

So for your question about how I dealt with all of this.. I suppressed my feelings and sucked it up. I never had romantic relationships in high school (even though I would have liked to), so rejecting people wasn’t an issue. I was under the impression that my parents thought relationships and dating “lead to divorce” and that it was sinful. I never tried to date because I was scared that I would get in trouble.
My transition period: If I ever get around to it, and you or anyone else is interested, I can tell you how this all turned out for me. It wasn’t very good. After high school, I eventually “snapped” and things got really ugly very fast. It’s a bit of a personal story, so I will see if this basic information gets any reactions first, and if I can feel comfortable enough to tell it. But, to answer your other question, I did not think outside life was inferior.. and I DID feel powerless and wanted to be rebellious against my parents. I was jealous of all the kids around me who could do things I couldn’t. And at the same time had tons of GUILT if I ever did desire a more “wordly” life.. I’m not sure if you are personally an ex LCer, so not sure if you know the terms.. they say lots of normal things are “wordly” and not of God… it drove me crazy.


I think many of the LC kids from my particular locality are still in the church. I’m friends with them on facebook, but don’t ever see them in person or really interact with them much at all. I have only one remaining friend from the church, and she moved away from the area. We never talked much about church things when we were together. I think from the ones that did leave that I know, they are not spiritual people anymore at all from what I can guess based off of facebook. But again.. we don’t really talk. I honestly think it would be nice to reconnect with some people that have a similar past with me, but that’s why I am participating in this group right now. I haven’t talked about this stuff with anyone in years. And my husband has NO clue what I’m talking about because he grew up Catholic.

So, that is all I have to say for now. I thank you again for asking those questions. I did not answer all of them exactly, but gave it a shot. Excuse me for being lengthy.. there is still so much more I could share! I am looking forward to interacting more on this discussion site in the future.