Quote:
Originally Posted by Ohio
Oh my, are you sensitive! I'm only trying to discuss issues here bringing up diversities you may not be aware of.
I'm not delegitimizing your relationship. It was you who brought up the subject. But, think about if the roles were reversed here. I have been married to my wife for decades. What if my wife overheard a comment I made that "I am bi, I like guys too." Would not that seriously undermine our marriage? Delegitimize our relationship? Perhaps my "serenity" might take a turn for the worse.
Seriously though, how can you call your spouse your "wife," when "she" was born a boy? I'm not the only one who has trouble understanding this. I'm just trying to work thru this.
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1. You have a misconception that bisexuals can only be attracted to either men or women at a time. Bisexuals are actually attracted to men
and women simultaneously. I believe that your thought process is that if the "options" available to an individual are more or less doubled, than the likelihood of that person losing interest in their partner will increase; this notion is deeply flawed and may or may not reflect on your own character/commitment to your own partner. I would look into that if I were you. If your wife would feel insecure about you being attracted to both men and women, that's more reflective of trust issues in your relationship rather than issues from a person's sexuality.
If a person is in a deeply committed relationship (ie marriage), then it doesn't matter how many alternatives there are available to a person, regardless of their sexuality. If that person is truly a person of integrity, then if they are in a deeply committed, monogamous relationship, they will stay true to their partner.
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2. How are you having trouble understanding that her wife is a wife? Genitalia at birth only determines that person's assigned sex, not their gender identity. To clarify, some quick terminology:
- male/female - sex terms related to genitalia assigned at birth (male = penis, etc)
- man/woman - gender terms based on subjective identity (man = identifies as a man, etc)
Thus, if their wife was originally born with a male sex assignment, but they identify as a woman, they are inherently a woman regardless of their biology. This identity is not a choice, it is something that manifests as the person's sense of self-awareness and identity forms. If you believe it is a choice, please ask yourself when you chose to stay the gender that correlated with your assigned sex at birth. If you can't figure out the rough date you made that choice, then sit down because you just discovered that it's not a choice.
Referring to a trans woman as the gender identity that correlates with their originally assigned sex is extremely disrespectful, as you are denying that person's autonomy and sense of self in leu of your own, narrow-minded worldview. To illustrate how disrespectful that behavior is, let's imagine you introduce yourself by name to someone, but that person refuses to you accept the name you introduce yourself with because in their mind, you look like a Bob instead of [insert your name here]. So regardless of how much you try to have that person address you by your name, which is something you can legally change to match your self-identity, they call you the name they think suits you best when they don't know anything about you. Don't you think that's disrespectful behavior? That's exactly what you're doing to this person's wife. Stop it.