[Trapped]

Curious's post actually has great merit, and is true. It is well known that narcissists (not the generic "looks in a mirror all the time", but as a known personality disorder/type with detrimental qualities) often gravitate towards jobs in church ministry due to the inherent status it affords them. I can absolutely 100% say I have encountered abusive narcissists in the local church leadership.

It is true that the majority opinion is that "nothing will help a narcissist". They are so manipulative, so controlling, so deceptive that they can even run rings around trained therapists and end up teaming up with them against their spouse who is on the verge of a breakdown due to their partner's narcissistic behaviors.

Traits?

No remorse. Can never admit to wrongdoing. Lies. "Everyone is out to get me". Blame you for the literal very harmful thing they themselves did to you. Deny reality. Charismatic and your best friend until they turn on you at the drop of a hat. They usually go after kind, empathetic, caring people and absolutely wring them dry. Uses you, abuses you, and loses you.

Of all the material I've watched on the topic and all the commentary I've read, every single one of them was this: "they made my life a living hell, I may never recover, run from them as fast as you possibly can. they will never, ever change."

Unfortunately, they match up quite well with the people described in 2 Timothy 3:1-5:

But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God— having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with such people.

Have nothing to do with such people. Or, "from these turn away", as some translations put it.

There was only ONE comment that indicated any hope for an abusive narcissist (or someone with NPD - narcissistic personality disorder). Talking to them won't help. Logic won't help. Reason won't help. Literally recording their behavior and playing it back to them won't help them admit to something they did that is on literal record!

The one comment was "I know of one narcissist who changed for the better after coming to Jesus Christ. Only He could change them."

What this means for those who profess to be Christians but still display malignant narcissism, I'm not sure. A "blinding light to Saul on the road" type encounter with God may be the only thing we can pray for.

But what it means for this thread is that those who are speaking up and/or speaking out can temper their expectations. In other words, understand that the leadership might be a lost cause, but that you are not speaking out for their sake, but for those under their thumb who are NOT narcissists who can hear what you are saying.