Quote:
Originally Posted by Peter Debelak
Hannah:
Your testimony brings tears to my eyes. It was an earnest and honest path.
I wonder if you would expound on the above. Many of us have deep connection with some with whom we developed deep connections who remain meeting in the LC. It is sometimes a struggle to maintain the honest relationship even as you feel a deep critique of what they are in.
What has been your experience on this?
Your brother in Christ,
Peter
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Hey Pete
Took me a long time to respond. I dont know that I pursued deep connection with those that I knew were still firmly planted in the LC. Or rather, how deep is it, if I hid a significant part of who I am? Over the years I used involvement in the church, specifically the LSM arm, as my gauge for how I would engage with them, how much of myself I would let them see. I knew I was doing this, it was a conscious decision to protect myself because I did not trust them. I didnt trust their motives and i didnt trust the verses they shared wi th me. I even had a hard time believing my husband. The LC became toxic to me.I believed any fellowship would indicate to them that I was wrong and they were right.
I was more gracious to my Cleveland church family. For many summers when I returned home to mom and dads I would make an effort to go to the table meeting and show up to see the YP on Fridays. I wasn't really interested on their truth as much as I interested in connection with people who meant something to me. There were people I avoided but it was mo different then when I was in the LC.
I think i have one friend who is still in the LC in Cleveland, that gymnastics coach of mine. You know who. And i wouldn't say she is in as most people would describe it. She sees the bull****, she speaks out against it, and is genuinely following Gods leading. That's an easy relationship to maintain because was Jesus to me for more than 20 years. What I mean by that is she reflected who Jesus was. I know if I told her this she would likely tell me to shut up and say "are you friggin kidding me?!" Bottom line I trusted her and that came from countless encounters with her to cultivate that trust. There was no bull****.
Pete, I see in you a genuine desire to connect with those who are still in. Your ability to extend grace is honorable.
Love yoi