[aron]

Originally Posted by Melo

It is worth considering exactly WHY you are on this forum. For those of you well-established in much healthier Christian groups it seems odd to me to want to keep coming here to talk about how bad the LC is, politics, or whatever when you could do so easily in person. I don't mean that to sound condescending, because I've done my share of ruminating, but I must admit it's a quite stagnant existence.

Melo, anything can become a stagnant existence. And anything can be a vibrant, evolving existence. It is up to the individual. And yes, I'm trying to own my own journey.

Here is a recent post on FB. Shows the level of deprogramming sometimes needed.

Originally Posted by FB member

during the last two years, I've experienced what I can only describe as an invisible parasitic virus being ripped out of my body. As children in the Lord's Recovery, we were indoctrinated. If this doesn't alarm you, please read more about this form of child abuse. When someone chooses to leave the belief system that was indoctrinated into them, the indoctrination is designed to work against you. It's designed to tell you, "you are evil/you are poisonous/you're a disappointment to God/you aren't good enough to be a part of God's best/etc/' Being around family and friends that are indoctrinated is especially hard bc you are now an "outsider." You know exactly what they're thinking of you bc you used the think the same thing about other people!

I remember having months of just telling myself, "You have done the research, you have talked to countless people, you are using critical thinking skills, you logically KNOW you are doing the right thing, you know to go back would mean you're betraying yourself, you KNOW God still loves you, you KNOW you still have value." It was almost too much to bear. During this time, I also had to face many issues about my childhood. In the church, it's very common to frame the family life as "ideal." While I'm thankful to my parents, they didn't know (likely bc of church influence) about healthy boundaries. I had to confront my past, take responsibility for my own life, kick the learned helplessness to the curb, relearn my own personal belief system, deal with the immense pain of unindoctrination, and deal with the fact that my life was nothing like I thought it was. I had to humble myself to the fact that the "world" actually had a lot more things right than the "Lord's Recovery." The "world" can't be dumped into one category. The world is very diverse with all kinds of pure love but also evil. The "world" is just life.

For those out there still struggling with "unindoctrination" and "reprogramming", there are resources for you. You are not alone. The book I referenced in post #2 was a huge help for me.