[countmeworthy]

Originally Posted by ZNPaaneah

Thank you. (Please don’t call me ZNPAH, Paaneah is one of the names the Bible uses for our Lord, so Z or ZNP would be a lot better).

I didn't know it was offensive to you. You have a unique name. Perhaps you can explain to us/me what made you choose that particular name, Z. I had no idea Paaneah is one of the names the Bible uses for our Lord. Thanks for the gold nugget.

While reading your post I was reminded to be thankful in all things. It occurred to me that due to my poverty I was actually quite blessed.

I believe this is how I started to experience more blessings in my life too. I recall thanking the Lord for beautiful days, for my job, for my family, for my friends, for all He's done for me.

I was a volunteer for the Irving hall for 1 1/2 years, there was a lot of talk about the ministry of course, and I helped print the ministry, but I couldn't afford to buy it. So I spent all of my time in the Bible.

Truly a blessing in disguise ! And yet, as a sidebar, interesting how no one bought you a book ! When I got saved in the LC, the saints gave me a small NT until I bought my own bible.

(Prior to that I had been a full time student on a fixed budget. When I did buy a book I would read it through multiple times before I could buy a second. I only bought a few and they were mostly Watchman Nee.)

I don't think I've ever read any of Nee's or Lee's books from cover to cover. I read the Life studies and my bible. Back in my day, we had the KJ and the NASB not the RcV.

As I become older and look back I am ashamed of the way I have treated others.

I've been there too but God is soo much bigger, much more patient and much more Merciful and Gracious to us. Jesus already nailed our guilt and shame on the cross and His Blood has cleansed us. I'm sure many of those we've mistreated have had their memories erased by God so that HE can work on them. Remember. Jesus is the Savior and Deliverer. We aren't.

The Lord reached down and had mercy on me. I need that attitude.

Me too !! And boy has He ever given me an attitude adjustment !!

I often imagine the shame I will feel if I appear before the Lord and I had been unwilling to show mercy on others for fear I would get my "clothes" dirty. Being unwilling to follow the Lord’s example has to be one of the blemishes he was referring to in the verse you quoted.

His Word tells us if we confess our sins, He is JUST and forgives them all...past, present and to come. Behold HE makes all things NEW! Let not your heart be troubled ZNP.

This afternoon I was repenting of fearfulness. I realized to my shame that my fearfulness exposed divisive thoughts that needed to be repented of.

Very Good ! While I too have experienced what you've experienced, and probably MOST of us have, I hold on to His Word that He didn't give us a spirit of Fear.

Why was I afraid of a saint, what does that say about my thoughts?

That you're human...like the rest of us. God is still working on us all.

Most of my contact is with Christians who never had any contact with the LC. We have had some wonderful experiences.

Me too ! And most of my close non-LC Christians don't go 'to church' anymore either. So when we get together, we are soo FREE. No pretentiousness.

In September of 2000 we had a large rally in front of the UN.

Thanks for sharing all your experiences thus far. They are very interesting. May the Lord continue to strengthen you and fill you with the Peace of God which surpasses all understanding.