[aron]

Trapped,

I appreciate your ability to articulate what many, actually, are feeling, but either can't say it well or won't because it sounds "bad" coming out. They're conditioned to passively accept one view, and are given to understand that "everyone" thinks like this - or, should - and so don't consciously gaze down another than the officially sanctioned path.

But you have - you've thrown down the proverbial gauntlet and I think that's great.

Now, what is God going to do? Show that He(She/It/They) actually care, or simply stay the "God who hides himself"? I think you've done absolutely the right thing. Remember that no answer is still an answer. You have forced the issue and if God can't or won't reply then God isn't worth any time or effort on your part.

I struggle, too. The best I can say is that the moment* I began to care for others was the moment I "knew" (experienced or felt) that God cares. And the amount that God "cared" for me (by consistently amazing reciprocal intervention) was proportional to the amount that I "cared" (by reaching out of myself) for my proverbial neighbour. My effort at being "nice" to someone - essentially a random stranger - instead of "indifferent" or "surly" or "judgmental" was a sort of experiment. What would happen? Well, God met me there. That's all I can say. I found God.

That's really all I have to hang my hat on.

I know God cares for the Other Guy (or gal). I just know it. I feel it. And I try to let them know (best as I can) that I know it. Try to be patient, to be attentive, to care, to listen, to offer a kind or hopeful word. All of which may be spinning my wheels in a world without meaning. But it gives my world meaning.

*Years after leaving LC environs I might add