Welcome
flyonthewall to the forum,
The Bible's demands concerning apologies and forgiveness usually place the heavier responsibility on the offended party. "
Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive others," and "
If anyone should have a complaint against anyone, as the Lord forgave you, so also should you forgive," (Col 3.13) come to mind. But, of course, Matthew 18 comes to mind for those who have been wronged.
Trying to examine my own history in this matter, I can think of three situations where apologies were unwarranted, yet demanded by others.
- Marriage. Here I would usually succumb to my spouse's demands for me to apologize, thinking that there were probably hundreds of things I got away with anyways. Love covers. Love endures.
- Weaker saint. Some young ones need an apology to feel better. Kind of like "kissing a boo-boo."
- Manipulation. Demanding an apology gives one power over another. This is probably where Nell was going with her questions. In a power struggle, demanding an apology brings one under submission. One can "play the victim" to get the upper hand. This tactic can be used in gas-lighting.
Read the article on gas-lighting I provided. Sounds like this may be at work in your situation. Understand the techniques being used so that you are not taken advantage of.
Personally I have been gas-lighted on a few occasions, and once it almost drove me to take my life. Be careful. Be wise. Seek counsel. I'll pray for you.
I encourage you to journal your interactions. Documentation helps to objectify your thoughts. Documentation also enables you to readily seek 3rd party Christian counsel.
Hopefully
Igzy can weigh in on this also.