Quote:
Originally Posted by ZNPaaneah
Watchman Nee likened this to washing rice.... I found that if I sat and read the Bible for 15 minutes I'd feel better ...
This is very strange to me. Why do you have this attitude?
|
ZNP, I'd heard the rice washing thing many times too.....the washing of the water in the word. That's why I expected there to be an inward change after a freaking year of washing. Nothing. You also mention feeling better after you read......I would ask what you do when you read and don't "feel" better? Does it mean it was a waste? "Don't go by your feeling" is a common LC refrain.
I understand my attitude may be strange, that's why I put this in Alt Views. My attitude was the way it was because I had been forced to live my whole life as if reading the Bible and the ministry was worthwhile, when by my experience it wasn't. I never, ever picked up the Bible to read of my own initiation or on my own time because it's all I ever heard the rest of the time, and none of it was real. I figured giving the Lord a year chance might be the opportunity I had been told He was looking for. He didn't care to show up.
In thinking about your question, I think I was closed to the Lord as a younger person because I had always heard things like "He will take away anything you like". He would require that you give up or sacrifice anything you happened to delight in humanly. He was never passed off as a God who was "for me". He was just out to hurt me. This is backed up in my own life more than the thought that "God cares" is backed up.