[jmar]

Originally Posted by aron

The problem is, people don't want to spoil the romance with hard-headed questions. Then they spend the rest of their lives regretting that they didn't have them, first. I'd write down my questions, hand them to her, and say that you have some questions about this group; she can take her time and consider them.

Start out by affirming the common faith. Then politely and respectfully point out your concerns.

Example: I notice that this group follows one Bible teacher, Witness Lee. But his predecessor Watchman Nee had a library of 3,000 books! Clearly he was able to draw from multiple sources - why have things changed so drastically?

Or, I notice that Watchman Nee learned from female authors and teachers, such as Jessie Penn-Lewis and Madame Guyon, and was trained by a woman named Margaret Barber, and had female 'senior co-workers' like Ruth Lee and Peace Wang. Why is it that women in the LC today have no such venues for spiritual labor and expression?

Tell her, "Please carefully think about these things, and try to answer them, because I'm having these kinds of questions and if you love me it should matter to you."

Be thorough and be careful. She'll be impressed that you care enough to be clear, and will try to engage (hopefully). Tell her, this is a conversation between you and I. Try to think about these questions. I'll be glad to talk them over with you.

She will try to flee to the "elders" with their pat answers. Tell her, yes we can go to the senior ones, but right now you and I are having a conversation. Let's figure out what we can here and now, then go to others for help if we get stuck.

She says she loves you. I think you will find out real quick if she loves you or is just playing you.

I've mentioned verbally a lot of my concerns like this, especially regarding the one source of information (from Lee and Nee, recovery version, etc). I also told her I see her church at a "Living Stream Church" and consider it as a denomination, despite them denying the existence of a denomination. Should I write down any previously mentioned concerns or only new ones? I'm getting more comfortable mentioning these things in person because I realize I don't have much to lose, and I'm pretty content with myself in case we don't work out. I would have liked discussing it within the past few days but decided to put it off so I could enjoy the holidays.