[aron]

"The heavens are recounting the honour of God, and the work of His hands the expanse declaring. Day to day utters speech, And night to night shows knowledge. There is no speech, and there are no words. Their voice hath not been heard. Into all the earth hath their line gone forth, and to the end of the world their sayings"

For years I could hardly think about anything, much less think about God or talk to God or listen to God, without the mediating influence of the Words of Ministry (WoM). I was immersed in the system, both the Church Life (CL) and its WoM, to such a degree that even after physically leaving the CL I continued to see the WoM as a vehicle for my spiritual transformation. If I could just read more WoM, listen to more tapes, surely it would magically effect some marvelous change! I promoted the WoM to those around me. It was my guide, my hope, my banner.

Of course I would say Christ was my hope and my life, but how could one effect this subjectively without the mediating Ministry?

Then one day I got tired of praying to a God who didn't reply. The WoM was piled on my shelf, and of course I had their catalogue, with books and tapes aplenty. But the notion of transformation thru immersion was wearing thin. I was getting exasperated.

So I stopped praying. For about 2 years I didn't read the Bible or gather anywhere. Slowly, fitfully, I began to think again. And eventually I re-opened the Bible, but with other mediators, other guides and companions.

Today I see the CL as a reflexive system of non-thought in which the WoM has first place, first voice. It was largely due to the interregnum, the Great Silence in my life, that I began to hear the voice of God: first in the universe, the "heavens" of the psalm; then in the Book, the collection of sacred texts; finally, through the mediation of the Book, I began to hear the Son.

"And the Holy Spirit will reveal all my things to you.".