Quote:
Originally Posted by Trapped
As a church kid who "knows the Bible" (memorized thousands of verses growing up, went to every YP meeting, conference, truth school/SSOT, etc) who but actually knows very little of the Bible, I'm currently stuck in the desert of being very closed off to the Lord because of my experience in the LCs, and thus having no desire to read the Bible FOR MYSELF (and not because I was forced to) but simultaneously realizing just how trapped I have been in almost every conceivable aspect of my human life because I took the words I heard for decades as the truth without holding them up to the truth in the Bible......yes I heard this thought too.
Although I never had the experience myself of confessing to the Lord and actually feeling forgiven or cleansed, I also wondered how I would know when and if, essentially, the Lord has "actually" forgiven me in a full way where the relationship has been fully restored, based on the teaching you described. As a young person, it basically gave me the impression that the Lord was flighty or held a grudge or would give me the "silent treatment" even after I confessed and repented. As someone who had trouble even getting to the Lord in the first place, knowing I would have to endure or deal with this kind of God was one of many things that kept me from even wanting to "reach out" to Him in the first place. I have been forgiven by saints and, much to my surprise, have had immediate fellowship restored with them with no feeling on my side that they "held a grudge" or did not trust me in the same way. If fallen humans can do that, I did not understand why the great God could not, or would not.
If the teaching in question is Biblical, fine, and the shortcoming is totally on my side. But if it is not, it is one of many that put an unnecessary wedge between me and the Lord.
In discussing some of these things (not this in particular, but similar topics) with an elder at one point, he made the comment that "maybe the Lord has been misrepresented to you all these years." My response to him was, "why then would I want to stay around the people who have so grossly misrepresented Him to me?" He had nothing to say in response.
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Trapped, I applaud you for how descriptive and honest your post is. You have just explained to me why a whole generation of YP have departed the LCM. The Bible talks about the Good Shepherd leaving the "99" to find the lost one, but in reality related to the LCM, the Lord has to leave the "one," and go seek the "99" who have departed in discouragement. I'm serious.
When it comes to a personal relationship with our loving Savior, honesty is everything. The enemy of honesty is public performance. That's why the Lord admonishes us to seek Him in our "closet," rather than some public setting. Jesus does not want a public relationship with you, but a personal one, one that you can call your own, whether you tell anyone else or not.
When your heart has an interest, I encourage you to read the stories in the Gospels, perhaps John's. Please don't "pray-read." Find a new way to read. Imagine yourself right there in the story. Consider if you were there watching what was going on with Jesus from a "stone's throw." You know, like so many others who were interested at the time, yet were hiding in the shadows, not understanding who Jesus was or what was going on.
There were so many loud voices back then, "
He's a Prophet, who else can do what He has done?" and then others mocked, "
The jerk's a liar and a fraud, no Prophet can come out of Galilee!" Isn't that kind of like what is going on in your own head right now? People shouting at you from different directions. But be like Nicodemus who found Jesus in secret, and then drilled him with questions. You are reading just for yourself. You are forming your own opinion.
Thanks for sharing.