Quote:
Originally Posted by Trapped
The ground fell out from under me as I thought...."all these people are sitting there trying to work out in their mind what the Lord is speaking to them? The Lord isn't actually SPEAKING TO THEM?" as I had thought for so many years of my life. No wonder it was so difficult to me to get to the Lord when the people around me supposedly shepherding me/serving on me/caring for me weren't apparently even touching the Lord themselves!
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Here I think of 1 John 2:27 and Hebrews 8:11.
I physically left the LC 20 yrs ago & went "back to Christianity" but was so pickled in the brine (i.e. indoctrinated in non-thought) that I couldn't sit in a meeting or read a verse without Lee-speak in my head. "That's not God's economy", was my reflexive response.
But eventually, the Lord began manifesting his presence to me, in various ways, typically connected to the word. It might be a verse popping into my head. Or a study done by a scholar (Lee's work was either shallow self-logic or relied on 19th-century scholarship). I would allow other voices in, and the Lord would manifest himself.
Now, how do you know it's the Lord? The subjective response was so overwhelming that it could only be. If I go to my grave deceived that is God's problem. Look at the gospel record, how many times it says, "They were astonished beyond measure."
Jesus taught "seek and you will find". It is both command and promise. The LC indoctrinated us with the lie - "here we've given up our search" (notice how the LC changed the wording of William C. Martin's original hymn). No; keep searching. God will in due season reward you.
And yes I've failed and lost the light, at times (often?). But so did Peter, and Jesus never let him go. So keep going. Go on by faith and in due season the reward will come.
Believe me, you'll know when you find it. And that finding is the 'amen' from God to keep seeking the Shepherd's voice. "My sheep hear my voice, and they follow me." The finding and the hearing are encouragement to keep seeking and listening. The journey isn't over. And you'll find, as you go on, that the "blank spots" in the journey become less pronounced, as the light increases.