Quote:
Originally Posted by leastofthese
Your description falls in line with what I've seen. If it isn't fair to call it an arranged marriage (not disagreeing with you), what would be the correct terminology? LSM brokered marriage?
Is this a practice that comes from the Chinese culture? Again, I'm not saying this is wrong or bad - but different. Why didn't you feel it appropriate to talk with your (now wife) first? Were you seeking council in a way? Was it an unwritten rule?
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I didn't consider it "brokered" or related to LSM in any way. I liked this girl, and I wanted to know her situation without embarrassing myself. A major factor is that most in the LC court secretly (I no longer consider this good practice), so an interested young man has little way of knowing if a girl is already seeing someone or not.
Because it is common practice to go through an older person, I also think many sisters consider it too "forward" for a young brother to approach directly. Yet, I also have heard some sisters say they would find it more attractive if a brother
did approach directly. So, there is some diversity of opinion. In my own mind at the time, I was seeking council and also some assurance that someone older and wiser than me knew what was going on and was praying for me. I might not do it the same way now, but I have never considered the process nefarious. More old-fashioned.
Also, although many young people may consider it an unwritten rule, I know that LC coworkers and FTTA trainers would be quick to say it isn't and that people are free to approach each other directly (after the training). As for Chinese culture, I'm not sure. This practice may more be a byproduct of FTTA culture where young people are always seeking spiritual confirmation of everything and are afraid to make mistakes.