[kisstheson]

Hello dear ones, beloved of God,

My dear sister/wife and I are still processing all that we heard and experienced during the Conference in Raleigh, NC, this past weekend. This was a very significant event for us, as it completed the “third leg” of our seeking journey which began when we were called to leave the LC back in January of 2007. Allow me to briefly explain.

The “first leg” of our seeking journey actually took place while we were still in the LC. We were hearing things and experiencing things that our consciences told us were not of the Lord, yet we ignored these inner stirrings from the Lord for many years. Eventually, we came to realize that the voice of the One who was troubling us was the very voice of our Beloved, our Good Shepherd. The problem was, how could we ever leave the LC? We had heard the dire warnings regarding the terrible fate which overtakes all those who leave. Very much confused, we put this matter before the Lord. We told Him that we needed to hear from some who had left the LC and were going on with the Lord in a very positive way. We do not know of any such cases, but we asked the Lord to bring some examples to our attention. At this point in time we were very troubled and I would even say very discouraged, as we came to firmly believe that something was terribly wrong with us that was not wrong with any of the other saints. Perhaps an incurable “leprosy” had already come upon us, from which the Lord would not cure us. Perhaps a terrible, slow, lingering death was to be our fate, since we had harbored secret doubts in our hearts concerning “God’s best”. Perhaps we had already been pruned off the vine and cast into the fire. Surely we were guilty and surely such a fate is what we deserved. I know it sounds rather dramatic, but it is hard to capture the constant fear, the utter sense of despair, and the feeling of being completely forsaken by the Lord which we lived with for so long.

That is where “the other discussion forum” was such a life-saver to us. Once we came across that discussion forum (quite by accident actually, at least according to the outward appearances), we found that which we never thought we would find – the actual testimonies of many dear ones who had left the LC and who still loved the Lord and were still walking with the Lord. This discovery was greatly used by our dear Lord to strengthen us for our journey out of the LC.

The “second leg” of our seeking journey involved the following questions: We now knew that some had left the LC and were walking in an intimate, loving, relationship with Jesus Christ, but what about ministry? Wasn’t the LC the only place where “rich ministry” could be found? Weren’t these dear ones outside the LC starving because they were trying to survive on “husks”? Again, we put this matter before the Lord, and again He came through in a way which exceeded all our expectations! The dear ones on “the other forum” began to mention and post links to other ministries. We followed up on each and every mention, and before we knew it, we had more “rich ministry” to partake of then we could handle in ten lifetimes: TAS, Ian Thomas, Titus Chu and the dear brothers in the GLA, Stephen Kaung and the dear brothers serving with him, Basilea Schlink, Bakht Singh, Jane Anderson, Neil Anderson, F.F. Bruce, Richard Rohr – just to name some who are/were contemporary with Witness Lee. Along with these, we rediscovered many gems from the past – Andrew Murray, Johann Arndt, Jacob Boehme, F.B. Meyer, Hannah Whitall-Smith, A.W. Pink, C.A. Coates, C.H. Mackintosh, Oswald Chambers, Dietrich Bonhoeffer – to name a few. Wow! We were definitely not surviving on “husks”! By partaking of the spirit of all these other dear ministers of Christ, we were able to place WL in a much more balanced historical context compared to the view we held of WL in the LC. We were able to appreciate that WL was only one of many ministers of Christ whom our dear Lord had given to His Body to equip the members so that the Body may build itself up in love.

The “third leg” of our seeking journey was very much completed this past weekend in Raleigh. We knew of many dear ones who had left the LC and were going on with the Lord, and we knew for a fact that there was much “rich ministry” outside the LC. But what about all those dear assemblies which had left the LC in a corporate way? What had happened to all of them? Could Christ’s beautiful Bride, the vision of whom had so captured us all those years ago, still be seen in these assemblies? Was it really possible that these assemblies were full of functioning members under the headship of Christ? Were these places where our Lord was still “walking in the midst of the golden lampstands”? Were these places where Jesus was again walking the earth in humbleness, meekness, love and compassion?

We admit it. We went to Raleigh on a “spy mission”. We certainly honor the leadings which all of us have followed since leaving the LC. Personally, we have been very blessed in a sweet “home church”. But the idea of “checking out” one of the assemblies which had left the LC would not leave us alone. For some unknown reason, the Lord was really bothering us regarding this matter. Could it be true that some had actually taken the best of what the LC offered, leaving behind what was not profitable, and continued to meet together, seeking the Lord for new and fresh leading? We had to find out! To our amazement, we found out during our time in Raleigh that such a thing had indeed taken place in many localities! The spirit of receiving one another in Christ and spontaneous oneness in Christ was clearly visible. Genuine brotherly love was shown to everyone. All of the speaking and testifying was so refreshing and so full of words of grace and encouragement. Honor was shown to all members, not just to the leading ones. Needless to say, we were very touched and I have to testify that the Lord did a deep inward recalibration work in us. What will be the end result of all this, we do not know at the present time. We are convinced that He will continue to supply us with our daily portions of grace so that we will be able to trust Him one day at a time.