[Nell]

Matthew 18:15-17 (NET Bible)
15 “If your brother sins, go and show him his fault when the two of you are alone. If he listens to you, you have regained your brother.
16 But if he does not listen, take one or two others with you, so that at the testimony of two or three witnesses every matter may be established.
17 If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. If he refuses to listen to the church, treat him like a Gentile or a tax collector.

There is a huge bog regarding the practice of these verses on biblical conflict resolution. It's so big that biblical conflict resolution is at a virtual standstill. When believers argue about "who is the church," the whole matter goes off the rails. The goal is conflict resolution, and not getting trapped in the weeds of "who is the church." There is no shortage of members of the church. The church is the Lord's Body. We are all qualified to hear a matter of conflict among our brothers, but there is a practical answer to the question: Who do you tell?

So who do you tell? Who is the church? Verse 15 If you go to brother John Doe alone attempting to gain your brother, and he refuse to hear you, try again.

Verse 16 Take with you 2 or 3 that the matter be established, documented. If brother Doe still refuses to hear you, try again.

Verse 17 Tell it to the church. Who, specifically, practically, do you "tell"? It seems simple to me. Tell those believers who are related and in fellowship with one another. They know one another and have a common love for all parties. They may even have first hand knowledge of the offense. That could be 10 believers or 200 believers. These could live in the same city or all over the U.S. The 200 could live all over the world. Regardless of where they live, they are the church. They are related. They are in fellowship with those on both sides of the matter. They care. You don't have to be in the same room to effect conflict resolution, though you can. You don't need to involve disinterested believers, though you can. The point is to resolve the conflict, not bog down in "the process." The point is to be heard by the offending brother Doe and resolve a conflict in the church.

If brother Doe refuses to hear the church, your responsibility, as the offended party, to resolve the conflict is over. You have gone the distance, biblically. To you, brother Doe is as a Gentile or tax collector. Of course, for brother Doe to hear the church, the church needs to speak. Those believers who are involved in the process are accountable to make a determination. A judgment...one way or another. They have been brought in to help resolve a conflict in the church...among these interested, involved parties. There is no indication that brother Doe is a Gentile or tax collector to "the church" as defined. It seems that this word is to the offended party only.

I have been involved in several "tell it to the church" matters which were handled according to this pattern. The question might be, was the conflict resolved? Technically, this is not the point. The point is, obey the bible. Follow the biblical process. You can't control the outcome, but you should be willing to go the distance. The conflict was not resolved, but the offended party DID go the distance. The offending party now bears ALL the responsibility for the unresolved conflict because they refused to hear the offended party, before the witnesses AND the church.

Nell