[Drake]

Igzy) "But I don't know what you are getting at with these questions. Perhaps you are trying to help me? That's fine. I have nothing to hide, fear or prove now, and I don't mind answering questions. But I'd like the discussion to be relevant to the subject matter. "

HI Igzy,

Lets clear the air on that. I am not trying to help you, neither do I seek to hurt you. I am trying to understand why two brothers who were likely contemporaries, heard the same messages, experienced the same church life, perhaps similar corporate living arrangements, may have even broke bread together could have interpreted the whole affair 180 degrees differently. Eventually one leaving bitter and angry convinced that the Devil tricked him into wasting so many years while the other grateful as having received a great spiritual treasure as from the Lord Himself!

You describe vision like a doctrine or some interpretation of scripture . That is one major difference between our experiences as relates to vision. I can only describe my experience as a type of visitation from the Lord. That guided me in many times and ways as it still does.

Another difference in our experiences is I never felt I could live up to the standard that others around me were so I never tried, never got my hopes up and didn't get anyone else's hopes up. If it wasn't the Lord in me it wasn't going to happen. You describe a pressure to aspire to a good brother standard and dreaded the arduous life of trying to live up to it. In this we shared a common realization , that is, achieving that standard is not possible using our own efforts. You tried with great effort, I didnt so much.

Igzy)"So I like for you to try to respond to my whole argument that telling people they can't leave your group is an abusive practice.

And also tell me: Who is responsible for my suffering? Just me? I accept some responsibility. I should have gotten Christian counseling. But I expect you are thinking that, well, if I hadn't had left I wouldn't have suffered.

I have never heard anyone at anytime ever tell anyone else that they can't leave the church life. Holding people, verbally or physically, against their will would be an abusive practice. People came and went all the time, sometimes several times.

Also, I would not tell you that your suffering would have been alleviated had you stayed. On the contrary, from your description you would've continued to suffer. If we ever had had the opportunity to fellowship back then I would have pleaded with you to forget trying to live up to that standard no matter who established it, you or someone else, and rather to just pray and enjoy the Lord together. Under the circumstances, you might have misunderstood my intentions even at that.

Drake