Welcome, Tasinee,
Many of us have indeed shared your experience/s. There is a book which you may find helpful, written by a former member, Jane Carole Anderson. The book is available in Kindle format from Amazon and hard copy on Jane's website at
http://www.thethreadofgold.com/
From Amazon: "This book tells the true story of Jane Carole Anderson’s twenty-year journey through the Local Church of Witness Lee. It reveals her discovery of the powerful and practical message of the cross, one that saved her from deception and revealed God’s purpose for her life."
https://www.amazon.com/Thread-Gold-G...7622662&sr=1-3
Blessings to you--
Nell