[Ohio]

Originally Posted by Overflow

It makes me vomit to hear the guys beg and plea for Don to write a chapter in a book (that will inevitably be slanted) and yet two ladies recount of abuse is over and over again dismissed and belittled! BlessD, I completely believe your story and I am so sorry for the disrespect of women that we were raised with and continue to see on this forum. When I wrote my response to Don, I regret being naive and believing that he could switch from an Angry Mean Spirited Man to Mr. Calm and Collect in 2.2 seconds.

Overflow, your story is indeed painful to read, and I am in no way diminishing what sad events have transpired in your family. I also have some nasty memories to tell growing up in a large family in the Catholic church. That church never helped my Dad either, but we are all responsible for our own actions, and parents most of all. When some of my siblings retell some of the "horror stories," the responsibility stops with the family, and no one ever blamed the church.

No one has "dismissed and belittled" your accounts. I saw that happen on the Bereans forum, but not here. DonR happened to be nearby and said he didn't see it happen. So he asked for clarifications. I would have done the same. I don't like getting blamed for other's actions, and I'm sure you don't either. Abusive people like to act in secret, and that's why many of those even closeby don't know what has happened. That's life. I don't like it, but it happens. It happened far too often in the LC.

The above two paragraphs are to me disrespectful to DonR, beyond what is fair. Regardless of how hurt you were, it does not help you to lash out at other posters, men in general, or specifically Don. None of us did anything to hurt you. It was your father who did what he did, and he bears full responsibility, along with the one who appointed him to the eldership. If I don't appear as sympathetic as you would like in this post, that does not mean I "disrespect of women that we were raised with and continue to see on this forum." What it means is this -- I protest the way you were mistreated, and I also disagree with the way you are responding now.

Statements like this to DonR -- "Angry Mean Spirited Man to Mr. Calm and Collect in 2.2 seconds" -- is unfair, just like the abuse you have suffered. One wrong does not correct another wrong. The difference is that you suffered as a helpless child, which is quite unfortunate indeed. Now you are lashing out at people on this forum who have never hurt you. The Lord is very sympathetic to the hurting. Many other posters are sypathetic too, including DonR. Please do not think we are in any way discrediting you or your story. It's a story that is yours to tell.

Here's just one area where the LCS failed miserably. Many elders were appointed by reason of their allegiances. That's pitiful. The Biblical prescription is appointments based on character, including how one manages his own household. Paul wrote that for a reason. The LC thought they had invented a better way, and now we find out, via stories like yours, how bad their way really was.