I have witnessed and became aware of overreach by elders in some situations concerning marriage counseling. Howver, it would be wrong to characterize it as systemic or a policy or a practice of some sort. I never knew of elders engaging in matchmaking though some sisters were pretty quick on the draw.
That does mean that elders should use hands off as an excuse to not shepherd the flock. A person may have aspirations toward the Lord and the responsible ones should advise and counsel that one, their parents, the serving ones, etc.and sometimes intervention is required if morality is compromised. Paul taught this.
Even in this thread advice has been offered. That is not meddling. Seeing the situation on the ground gives a better perspective so we cannot judge those shepherding the flock and this sister or this brother.
I would also advise you brother that it is a fool's errand if you think to save this sister from "a cult". That is a nonstarter in so many ways.
Drake