[OBW]

I started a response to this but had to go back to working for a while. Now I find that much of what I said has been said by others. My own comment to Don that has not been said thoroughly I will leave as it was.

Don: This means that everything could be happening just as they say, even more often that you knew. You seem to rush to protest too quickly. I do not doubt what you are saying. But it comes off more like ducking when the casual observer might expect someone with the character they see from you elsewhere to come and provide consolation without digging into the hurt of the issue. There is probably some value in eventually getting some idea who the perpetrators of these debacles was because it might provide some insight into the workings of the dichotomy of the eldership in Dallas, as well as other cities. If you truly are innocent of these things (and I generally believe you when you say you are) you were surrounded by others who managed to do great harm right under your nose.

Having said that to Don, I say to all that while I am no more than about 5 years older than Juliep, I was unaware of these kinds of things as what happened to Julie and BlessD. And if it had been something that was being spoken of outside of the actual participants, I probably would have eventually heard. (I must confess that despite what so many said about my Mom at her funeral, she was very strongly opinionated, and also a little bit of a gossip, although generally only within the family. So if there was anything that got to her ears in any way, shape or form, I would eventually hear at least something about it, even if vague and thirteenth hand.)

What seems to be missed is that Matt made essentially as rash a statement as Don might have seemed to make. To come here and state that he is going to dictate how some discussion will be continued is quite interesting. Unless he has moderator privileges that have not been made public, I’m not sure what he means by his statements. While we may say that Don has protested in a poor way, I also say that Matt has interjected himself in such an authoritarian way as to be acting similar to the elders he seeks to chastise. That kind of attitude was prevalent in the earlier portions of this discussion. I thought we left that kind of authoritarian bully pulpit when we left the LC. Matt, your objectivity was damaged by this thread. You really need to do something to correct that. Not for us, but for yourself. You seemed as hard-pressed to get everyone, especially the church in Dallas, at least as much as you accuse Don of trying to say every place was not the same.

There are two issues in the stories told by Julie and BlessD. First, there is a hurt that may or may not be healed. We should be careful that we do not trample them as we rush off to judge the perpetrators. The second issue is the perpetrators and the ways in which they operated. It is reasonable to try to discover more of the facts behind these stories. Unfortunately, those facts will likely be revealed only by the very ones who are hurt by the process. So we need to be careful how we ask. Whether or not an accurate assessment, in the case of BlessD, there was some concern that requests for details sounded more like attempts to disprove the story. Assuming that was not the case, it does point to our inability to act with compassion. Ever watch one of those TV crime shows like Law and Order where the husband or wife of someone just murdered across town is asked some rather pointed questions by the detectives? Sometimes it is clear that they should have either phrased it differently, or waited a little bit before asking. How often does the way the question is asked sound as if they are accusing the deceased of “asking for it?”

I just poked a stick at a couple of friends in public. (And they, or others, may consider this to be a rather pompous attitude to take.) But they were not entirely alone in any of what has gone on before. They were just the ones to speak up this time. In some ways, both are right and both are wrong. I pray that this is taken in the attitude in which it is offered.