[aron]

Originally Posted by New Beginnings

I was seeking purpose and structure..

Not to over-generalize, but it's natural for young adults to want excitement, newness, and to experiment with reckless living and doing the opposite of what our parents and "society" demands. Yet soon thereafter we yearn for stability and structure.

The LSM local church, initially, seems to fit that desire to a "t". The problem eventually becomes that it is SO structured that you can't breathe! You can't think, or grow, or experiment. It has all the structure and stability of a museum, or a cemetery. You get purpose, allright, but it is someone else's purpose and plan, not yours. Thus the ill-fitting aspect of it.

Originally Posted by New Beginnings

I met my husband and he showed me the Word of God. And then he showed me the LSM...

The Word of God becomes an entry point for the teachings of LSM. Then a sleight-of-hand manoeuvre follows, in which the Word is left behind and one is ensnared and indeed mesmerised by "the ministry", which although strongly related to the Word in many aspects, is not related to the Word in many others. See my comments, below.

Originally Posted by New Beginnings

I was told that my feelings were wrong. I was told they were satan’s attacks. I became stuck in a cycle of shame and negativity. This is such a key point. “DON’T BE NEGATIVE!”

This is indeed key; it is essential to the defense of the LC thought-control programme. Any attempt to examine it objectively, and point out flaws, inconsistencies or lacks, is called being "an opposer" or "an attack". Yet the LC thought-programme is built upon pointing out the flaws and lacks of every other! Thus, one is led to conclude that a) the LC has the only valid thought-programme in existence, and b) anything that might challenge point 'a' is intrinsically invalid, i.e. sourced from your fallen human "feelings".

Yet the fact that the Bible is merely a means to an end can be seen where the LSM's LC 'church-life' deviates from the Biblical script. There are literally dozens of examples; I won't bore you. Peruse this site sometime.

Okay, here's one, if you insist. "It is the age of small potatoes; the age of spiritual giants is over." We were told this upon Witness Lee's demise. This is entirely from oriental culture, and has no biblical analog whatsoever that I can see. No attempt was made to connect it to scripture. Yet it was accepted without protest or question, because it was essential to the preservation and continuation of the hermetically-sealed LC thought-system.

Originally Posted by New Beginnings

It is hard not to fall back into the trap of shame and negativity...

Many of us do, often. That is part of the struggle. Look at Peter! He followed the Lord daily for several years, yet one night he ended up in darkness, weeping bitterly with confusion, shame and sorrow. Do you think your journey is exempt from such failures? Good luck with that!

The key, for me, is 'don't give up'. The enemy wants you to quit. "Curse God and die", per Job's wife's advice. No- "whether I live, or whether I die, I am the Lord's". This was Paul's advice, and it is a good word.

Secondly, forgive others. If you forgive others' failures, God will forgive yours. Jesus said this repeatedly. This is not an invitation to failure and sin; no it is rather an acknowledgement that no matter how we struggle to "be holy, as your God is holy", the sinners nearby us are much closer in proximity, while we yet live in the flesh of sin, than the holy God in heaven. So forgive them, bear with them, be patient and kind to them, and you will provide the righteous God a vehicle to extend the same mercy to you. "As you do to others, God will do to you."

Peace & God bless.