[Intothewind]

HERn...that baggage definitely existed. But for me it was more the lack of connection and buy in on my part. In the lc you grow up in a strange social environ where a lot just comes your way as you drift along and so any unsureness drowns in the undercurrent. I could very well have chosen to continue meeting with other church groups but by then my self reflecting abilities realized that my personal values(which I kept bottled up growing up in the lc) went against those of people of faith. So I decided id be better off not meeting.

Awareness: I actually feel better and more alive in many ways. Watch the Perseid meteor showers for the next couple days. Bike across the gg bridge at sundown with the sky burning like a dull ember as fog rolls across the headlands. Tell friends and acquaintances your weird upbringing and wonder and even laugh with them. Ask a girl out and go on a date for the first time. I do of course dream for the future (though my personal life goals are now in muddly formation) and think about the past...but the sheer bliss of a moment without any weird spirituality or guilty baggage is a gift from no one.