Quote:
Originally Posted by Nell
I cried from beginning to end. Every meeting. I cried and cried and cried. I tried to talk to the Lord about what had happened, but I didn't really know what was so wrong with me that the elders had to talk to me in such a way...without warning. My accusers got there first, so they won.
I did experience God's infinite grace and mercy as a result of the unholy deeds of those men. In His mercy, God protected me from becoming shipwrecked in my faith because of these deputies. God counted my tears. My tears meant something to Him. Not everyone who has experienced the sharp end of deputy authority has survived in their faith.
Nell
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Perhaps the most difficult trials we have to endure are the ones that should never occur. It's hard to consider that the proving of our faith may take place by those who should love and shepherd us, treating us with the love of Christ. Unfortunately those closest to us might be the ones who betray us, as Judas betrayed the Lord Jesus.
I do believe as a man the Lord bore the full pain of that betrayal. The Bible says little nice about Judas, but I believe that since he had the "money," he acted as the Lord's personal valet, daily caring for His needs and those of the entourage. Psalms (41.9; 55.12-14) called him the close personal companion of Jesus who "
kicked Him in the head" with a kiss. (my interpretation)
Looking back, these experiences can be among the most valuable we ever have. Not that I in the least condone what happened to Nell or to others. LC leaders would pride themselves in their unique way of "perfecting" the saints by harsh treatment, as supposedly Nee was "raised up" in this manner. I'm not buying it. It's basically the same type of "perfecting" grace which the apostles received while being lashed 40 times save one. Even worse is the fact that it comes from those we trusted.
That is the fiery trial that can shatter our faith. Persecution from outsiders is understandable, but abuse from insiders is not. It's like a child abused by a parent. It's not supposed to happen! The child may never recover which is too often the case.