[Bill W]

XFEVV,thank you for sharing your personal experience.I like so many other saints are learning that following Christ comes with a price.Jesus came unto His own and His own knew Him not.He was dispised and rejected of men;a man of sorrows acquainted with grief. Many times the christian pilgrimage leads us to places that we were not expecting,and they go beyond our comprehension.We are like sheep being led to the slaughter while many times there seems no way out except God Himself.Friends,family members,and even brothers and sisters in Christ can render us no help when God is drawing a saint to Himself alone.Look to the hills as we may for help,but our only help will come from God Himself.

Why does God allow such attrocities?It's so that we become more and more conformed to His image so that His life may be manifested in our death experiences.Sorry to say this matter,but He even gives us over to death that His life may be manifested to us.Many times we look to man or groups to be our Savior when all along that was the place only reserved for God Himself.When the Lord smashes these idols that we built within our heart to take His place,then we feel lost and helpless because we worshipped them instead of the True God for so many years.

Thank the Lord Jesus Christ that He doesn't give up on us in this hopeless and helpless condition.Little by little His love woes us and wins us over until we have the realization that only Christ should be the center and focus of the christian life.All other ground that even includes Witness Lee and the local churches or any other replacement is sinking sand.The road to recovery is the same road we took when we first believed.Repent and come back to the One whom we first believed;he hasn't moved away but we did.He is the same yesterday,today,and forever,and nothing and no one can ever separate us from His Love.

When we repent for all other loves other than Christ,then we find that He has been waiting for a long time for us to come back to our senses.He has been waiting for us to surrender ourselves completely and willingly to Him with no mixture or other loves.At first you may be shocked that Christ is even here outside of all our previous "security blankets",but little by little His love draws you deeper and deeper to the security and rest of His Dear Self.When you let go and let God be God,then you are on the road to being healed and delivered from all the distractions that previous bewitched you,led your soul into captivity and bondage, and imprisoned your spiritual life away from the One whom You first called Lord, My First Love, My Best Love,and My Bridegroom.The Lord is faithful and merciful to all those ones who call upon Him in their hour of need.May His mercy,grace,and Love find you out today,and may they bring you back home to Him and Him alone.