Unregistered

Thank you both...it means a lot to be able to share with people who understand.

I often had the thought or wish that I could just drink the koolaid...so to speak, like some of my peers that i look up to so much. Life would be so much easier. Wouldn't it be nice...if not improbable, if you were born into your purpose on this earth and just had to hold course?

I always visualized it as an eddy that I wanted to get out of. Its easy just to stay. On the drive back home I ended up staying a night w a couple that had migrated from my college locale to a nice midpoint for the journey. I was clear with them that I was actively not meeting anymore. The best explanation I could come up with isthat I decided I didnt want it anymore.

Im hoping I can find true and deep friendships and connections just eith normal people. Not sure where...but I know its out there.

One learning curve so far has been learning how to make my own decisions and plan. The tracks have ended so to speak.