[Freedom]

Unregistered, thank you for sharing your story. While I can't say that I have any advice to give you, know that you are not alone. Like you, I am a "church kid". I am actually still involved in the LC, but I just have the realization that I need to leave. That is partly why I joined this forum.

Growing up in the LC is something that only those of us who have done so will ever understand. I think that in most cases, those of us who grew up in the LC are 2nd generation, so our parents can never understand what we went through since they didn't have that experience of growing up in the LC. When I look back upon my childhood, I realize there were many things about the LC that bothered me, but as a kid and young person, what choice did I have? By the time I entered high school and college, I wasn't particularly drawn to the LC, but I had nothing else to turn to, so I basically "immersed" myself in LC activities.

As is the case with many, when I was in college, I lived in a "brothers house". While that experience gave me the opportunity to get to know some brothers on a more personal level, I realized it was also somewhat crippling for me socially. For example, one of the rules was no dating (just like in the FTTA). When I look back at that, I can't believe that I gave myself so blindly to that kind of environment.

I will be completely honest with you here: I am not married, nor have I ever dated. I am in my late 20's, so maybe a bit younger than you are. For someone who has plans on attending the FTTA, and allowing brothers to serve as "matchmakers" for who they will marry, then I suppose this situation might be more acceptable. For someone who didn't follow this "path" that they push everyone down, it is crippling.

In my particular situation, I am past the point where anyone could really try and stop me from dating, however, the LC is not an environment that I would ever want to bring a family up in, so until I have completely disassociated myself with the LC, it is out of the question for me. I bring this up is so that you know you're not the only one out there. It can certainly be perplexing, and who outside the LC can really understand?

I've always felt socially awkward and have relied heavily on LC friendships over the years. Once I entered the workforce, I found that it was somewhat easier to develop meaningful relationships with people, due to the inevitability of having to work closely with others. Simple things like that have really helped me to get used to how people function in real life. I've always had Christian friends outside the LC throughout my life, so I have always tried to make the most of those relationships. Though my situation is nowhere near ideal, I am thankful every day that I didn't turn out worse.