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FoundHim · 09-20-2008, 02:19 PM

Finally Pretty Ok,

I surely wish your post was My post. After leaving the LC about 13 years ago, I had to live with my husband an elder, who constantly reminded me of my poor wretched self. I do not mean in words, just the guilt one has after leaving such an all inclusive, life altering group. I did nothing and went nowhere for 10 years. I just could not up and go to a denomination could I - not while my elder husband was still "eldering". After about 6 years he quit going to the meetings. This was gradual, and was for my sake. He wanted us to be "one".

The Lord sovereignly arranged meeting a dear Christian friend who invited us to their church. Ugh. How hard it has been I cannot tell you. I still cannot go to the Snday morning meetings. But thankfully can go to our small Care Group where there is wonderful fellowship. There is also the meeting and eating in one another's homes. I am shaken to my feet at times because I cannot get free of the bondage of flashbacks etc. My husband is wiling to go to this new place - even feels God lead us there (? ? ? ? ?) - yet he adamatly will not take the Lord's table there - AND still insists he cannot be influenced by all the pain of the many saints who have told their tragic stories . He says "mistakes were made". He is "sorry" for the pain of the ones who were hurt, but has NO intention of seeking out fellowship from brothers he has known for years, who have left the LC.

Where does this leave me? In a turmoil I cannot explain. I often wonder if I am just not willing to suffer, to be involved in the LC. But also knowing I could not return. I feel like I know too many of the unrighteous, painful things that have happened, to ever return. I have been hurt so many times by my husband and his putting his head in the sand - that at times I have despaired of life itself. How does God show one partner what seems to be the truth, and to the spouse - it does not matter. He cannot bring himself to believe that so many very wrong things have happened. I do not know how much longer we can go on like this.

Please pray for us. I am in no way asking for pity. I am just desperate that the Lord would open his eyes.

09-20-2008, 02:19 PM	#6
FoundHim Member Join Date: Jul 2008 Posts: 9	Re: "Wrecked, Ruined?" Finally Pretty Ok, I surely wish your post was My post. After leaving the LC about 13 years ago, I had to live with my husband an elder, who constantly reminded me of my poor wretched self. I do not mean in words, just the guilt one has after leaving such an all inclusive, life altering group. I did nothing and went nowhere for 10 years. I just could not up and go to a denomination could I - not while my elder husband was still "eldering". After about 6 years he quit going to the meetings. This was gradual, and was for my sake. He wanted us to be "one". The Lord sovereignly arranged meeting a dear Christian friend who invited us to their church. Ugh. How hard it has been I cannot tell you. I still cannot go to the Snday morning meetings. But thankfully can go to our small Care Group where there is wonderful fellowship. There is also the meeting and eating in one another's homes. I am shaken to my feet at times because I cannot get free of the bondage of flashbacks etc. My husband is wiling to go to this new place - even feels God lead us there (? ? ? ? ?) - yet he adamatly will not take the Lord's table there - AND still insists he cannot be influenced by all the pain of the many saints who have told their tragic stories . He says "mistakes were made". He is "sorry" for the pain of the ones who were hurt, but has NO intention of seeking out fellowship from brothers he has known for years, who have left the LC. Where does this leave me? In a turmoil I cannot explain. I often wonder if I am just not willing to suffer, to be involved in the LC. But also knowing I could not return. I feel like I know too many of the unrighteous, painful things that have happened, to ever return. I have been hurt so many times by my husband and his putting his head in the sand - that at times I have despaired of life itself. How does God show one partner what seems to be the truth, and to the spouse - it does not matter. He cannot bring himself to believe that so many very wrong things have happened. I do not know how much longer we can go on like this. Please pray for us. I am in no way asking for pity. I am just desperate that the Lord would open his eyes.